On the horizon

I have a date tomorrow with Pool-Boy. We talked three times tonight. The last call was about an hour and a half.

For a moment, I was getting a negative vibe. He was sidetracked by his roommate who was getting ready to go to the Busta Rhymes concert (which was also a red flag).

But once that distraction was gone, we really hunkered down and had DEEP conversation. Seriously. It was really good. We laugh, we were serious, we got to know one another. He said he can't wait to finally meet me. And he only has time to date one person at a time, so if we hit it off...

I only hope this attraction continues when we meet face-to-face.

TOTAL BUST!!!

Professor couldn't get over how much different I looked in my costume, but I don't think he was overly impressed. He apologized, but said, "But I like you!"

I didn't even so much as get a real kiss--he didn't want my lipstick on him (Understandable, given he is going over to see his kids tonight). I seductively asked if he wanted to stroke my pussy--as I suggestively pet my stuffed black cat. I explained that all good witches have potions, and busted out the warming massage oil and something called "Good Head".

He was all, "You want to do this now?" I lied. Well, not really, I told him it was up to him.

Yesterday he was nearly perfect, and today he seemed uncomfortable around me.

Sheesh!

BUT--Pool Boy called last night and we had a great conversation while he was on his way to the airport to pick up his roommate. When his roomie arrived, he sort of stammered, and said, "Well, if it isn't too late...Well, tomorrow. I know it is Halloween, but can I call you tomorrow?"

Thinking Professor and I would be busy a little longer than what actually happened, I told him after 6:00 I would be home. (I was at the Professor's for a half hour. He needed to work on some paper he wants to get published. I was hoping for 2 hours.) I know Pool Boy will call, though. I get the feeling he is reliable. At least for now. After we actually meet and he sees my junk in the trunk, it is anybody's guess.

My Big Night Saturday

I was able to not only wear my wig and most of my witch costume Saturday, but I was also able to be a new person, and have fun with it.

My niece was having a Halloween party, and I was called into action. My brother and sister-in-law needed a fortune teller, and I was the obvious choice.

Rather than my totally cool green witch hat, tied a colorful scarf around my head, which, of course, was covered by my wonderful black wig. The make up was dark, the jewelry jingly, the accent thick.

The girls were scared of me at first, but warmed up as I told them all what good fortune they were going to have. All of these bubbly girls are going to college, getting married, having kids and fabulous careers. As a teacher, I was fairly intuitive, and was able to find who was into performing arts, athletics, and so on. They were impressed.

Except for one who kept taunting me. She hated me, and the next day her mother called and complained to my sister-in-law that it was too occult like. My sister-in-law said it was a Halloween party, so yes, there was a fortune teller. Get over it!

By evening's end, they all were thanking me and hugging me and each one wanted her picture taken with me. They were asking me if they were going to have boyfriends, the names of their husbands, and so on.

No hot date, but I am not sure a date would have been anymore entertaining.

The Others

Many of the boys I was talking to when I decided to hide my profile seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. Still, besides the Professor, there are five boys I am currently talking to and/or going out with.

The first one is Pool Boy. He isn't a pool boy, he just happens to be standing in a pool holding his nephew in his primary pic. Which is doubly hot, because he has hunky-strong shoulders and is holding a kid. He likes kids, he is liberal, and we have TONS in common. We talk for ages and I can't wait to meet him. He feel the same, I can tell. He may be a slight slacker, but we'll see.
He called me during the Rams game. That was when I was at the Professors. I called him back, we talked and laughed for about 30 minutes. He then asks if he can call back later, because he has his buds over. That spoke volumes to me. He wanted to talk to me, didn't rush me off the phone, and was a total goofball, even with his buds there.

Second boy, Sky Captain. Too old. Doesn't want kids, but kind of sexy. Hmmmmm...Deja vu?

Third Boy - The Teach. Rather obvious what we have in common. He likes kids (duh!) and wants some, and seems intelligent. We'll see. He is a new one to the mix.

Forth boy - the Eager Beaver. I am not too into him, but he is sweet and really likes me--based on what he has seen online. I have had this happen before, where I end up liking the guy once I get to know him better. (Saccharine, anyone?)

Fifth boy - I have no snappy name for. Maybe I should just call him Snappy. Snappy started out on the phone as a dud, but he asked me out, and he was sweet, so I said okay. The first two-thirds of our date was fun. I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt and my throat was soar. The last third, he got very negative. He made snide remarks about the music, the patrons at the bar, everything. He called today, when I was on the phone with Pool-boy, actually. I called him back, and I was charming and witty and funny, (as if I could ever NOT be those thing! KIDDING!) He is interested. We'll see what happens; where it goes.

Professor is my fave. He is in the lead, but because he has custody of his kids every other weekend, and he has a seminar to go to in 3 weeks, I will easily be able to date these possibilities and keep Professor around and make myself available when he is available.

A Motorcycle Built for Two

What a fantastic day! It was like there never was a tiff. Things were great. Even when the nimrod asked me how my dates went.

It was an absolutely perfect day for a motorcycle ride--other than my @#$&*! period being so heavy that I was changing "things" every hour before I left. (It let up by time I left, so I was good for the three hours we were together).

I was flirty, saying things like, "So, would it be too distracting if, say, I licked your ear and nibbled your neck?" "So, then, there is no way I should rub your nippies while holding on to you?" (He kept making jerky gear changes when I would slacken my grasp on him. He told me he always wanted a hot mama on the back on his back, and dammit, he wanted me hanging on close and tight.) When I asked if I should refrain from holding on to his crotch, he told me, "I never said THAT!" He then said that would be for a longer trip. He also told me how many point I earned when I quoted Springsteen and asked if I should wrap my legs around his velvet rims and strap my hands across his engines.

We road through Forest Park, which is a nice section of buildings and museums. I didn't know that it is bigger than Central Park in NY. Professor told me that--always teaching.

We had lunch and talked and he even held my hand across the table and said, "This is a real date. We are out in public, fully clothed. It is nice."

He asked how my dates went. And I looked away from him. I personally don't want to know. Unless he decides I am twice the woman she could ever hope to be (But not by size). He said we can discuss these things like adults, since we both know the other is dating other people. He then adds, "Unless one of them goes really well. I don't want to know that."
I talked about Friday's date starting off great, but then the guy became sort of negative and got on my nerves. Which is totally true, although I would probably give him a second date. In fact he called me today and we chatted for a bit.

I didn't mention Saturday's date, because there really wasn't one, but I let his mind wonder.

I asked about the party, and thankfully he only said that his costume was a hit. He also told me about the 7 year old there who told him his shirt really brought out his eyes.

We went back to his place and "watched football" until he had to go to his son's football game. We made out and talked more.

We were wrapping things up, and my cellphone started to ring.
"Aren't you going to answer that?"
"No. They can leave a message."
"Probably your Saturday night date."
I just smiled. There is a guy I am talking to on the phone I have really clicked with, and Professor can think whatever he wants, like I had a good date who calls me the next day.

He had to cancel tonight, and to be honest, I wanted to see him, but I have a TON of school work to do, so this time home will help me quite a bit. His kids want him to carve pumpkins with them, and he really should do that.

Tomorrow I am going to his place in my costume. I will only be over there for about two hours, then he is going to his kids'.

I may be a little naught, and when he answers his door tomorrow, and I am in full vixen-witch regalia, be petting my stuffed black kitty, and ask him if he would like to stroke my pussy. Over the top? Hell yeah...but he'll like it.

Our first tiff...

And this was sooooooo totally my fault! I HATE that! This guy doesn't want a committed relationship, yet confides in me how much he likes me, and I then give him ammunition to run!

Let me just say, as sad and pathetic as it is, I haven't had sex in the 2000s, so I am nervous, and anxious and need to get my nerves out and questions answered, so I have been talking to a friend in St. Louis. Honestly, my friends here on the blog would be better, but I sometimes need an immediate response.

So, I was telling friend about this message the Professor sent me, where he says his first impression was that I was this innocent, sweet, cheerleader-type, spunky, girl-next-door, and as it turns out, I am an animal. (I had been sending him some dirty text messages to make parent/teacher night go by faster, and also, I bought a book that will make oral sex more fulfilling for him, because he has NEVER climaxed through oral sex. I was sending progress reports on my exercises and so forth.) He sounded happy that he first impression was wrong, and even added, "Not that I mind!"

Friend tells me she isn't sure that is such a good thing. If his initial attraction was to one type of girl, and he finds out I am another type, there is a problem.

Note here: I was feeling a bit jealous because I knew he was going to a Halloween party Saturday, and I was pretty sure it was with the other girl he dates. Also, I had really bad PMS. It can make me very irrational.

So, the rest of the night, I am tossing and turning thinking that the other girl is probably sweet and nice and that is what he wants. I am just the hussy he is going to use for strictly sexual reasons.

So, the next morning I go to school (where I find 3 students are off of their meds) and I send an e-mail...
Professor,
Just so you know you aren't the only one to over-analyze everything, where you trying to make me feel like a trollop or sexy?
To which he replies:
TROLLOP??? What year IS this? 1915??

ugh, you do take the cake, ya know? I wasn't 'making you feel' anything; it was just an observation about my initial perception of you vs. now. I almost don't want to explain myself any further for fear of you taking it the wrong way.

Now I feel badly, and to make it better, send this:
NO! I think you can be sweet and bubbly and the girl-next-door and be sexual! I am just a little on edge, because SERIOUSLY you are the first guy I have gotten this physical with this quickly, and then I hear that I am no longer perceived as a "nice" girl!

Forget it. Maybe Aunt Flo is making a stop this weekend. Or maybe I just kind of sort of miss you and am feeling a bit sulky about it.
It didn't help--go figure!

So he sends this:
I NEVER said you weren't a 'nice' girl!

Not able to leave this alone, I write back:
You didn't. I'm sorry. I meant I "hear". Hard to convey what I mean in an e-mail. Especially when written between classes or as kids are working on assignments.

Let me add this...I think that you are a great guy. I just needed some clarifications. I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt my feelings.

I am NOT picking a fight.
I leave that to the pros, like you! ;)

(I was asked to sponsor the debate club. I can't imagine why!)
He admits he tries to pick fights, all in good fun. So, that remark wasn't totally out of line.

Let me add, after sending the initial e-mail, Friend tells me she and her boyfriend, who had just moved into their house together about 6 weeks ago, are having problems and have decided to give it another month, and if things aren't better, they are selling the house and breaking up.

YOU MEAN YOU JUST PROJECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS ON TO ME, AND I OPENED A CAN OFF WORMS THAT NEED NOT HAVE BEEN OPENED?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Okay, well, Professor didn't respond to my last e-mail. So, again, in my neurotic state, I send one more to him:
What does a 4'11" redhead use for birth control?





Her personality. :)

Sorry if I came off as a bitch this morning. When you called, I thought it was
cute and flirty, then I over-analyzed everything.
Again, no response.
So, I do what any girl with more issues than National Geographic would do, and I call.
And leave a message.
And wait.
And it is one of those rare days where I keep getting phone calls and keep perking up as if it is him calling. But it isn't.
But, I did talk to 2 boys who want to go out with me, and one of them I kind of like. And while talking to him, Professor calls. I ask Professor if I can call him back, and after another 15 minutes of conversation with the other boy, I get off the phone and call professor.

We chat. He wants to know how mad I will be if he cancels our Saturday afternoon date (where my plan was to make his head spin so much, he doesn't want to see his Saturday night girl.)
I tell him I will be disappointed, but not mad. (Thank GOD I was able to hide the tears in my voice). He explains that he has had no "Professor" time the last 3 weekends, and wants to have some of that on Saturday.
He then says maybe Sunday day we can go for a ride on his bike before his son's game. That is fine, but we have a tendency to get hot and heavy Sunday nights. There is no way he will want to do that right before his son's game. I asked about the night, and eventually he says we could do both. He'll break for the game, and in the evening we can get together again.
I said that I was hoping to show him my costume Monday, so if that is too much Bethie, let me know. I can skip one of those times. He said it is fine, but there is a tension between us now.
He then says he noticed I took my profile off the site where we met. I told him yes, and I told him I was going to.
He decided not to take his down. Is that okay?
Of course I said that was fine.
He makes a comment about me having another date over the weekend, and I said, "Two, actually."
He was shocked. I said that I assumed his party Saturday was with the other girl, and he confirms this.
Let me add something here...he and I have gone out for coffee twice, and other than that we just go to his place. We never go out. He will say he wants to, and originally we were going to see "Good Night, and Good Luck" Saturday, and another time he was going to take me to this great restaurant before he had to change the night he has his kids, but we never actually go anywhere. And we had just been discussing this prior. So, I said, laughing..."So she is your public girlfriend, and I am the private girlfriend?"
He got defensive and told me this was not "public" it was a party a friend of hers was having.
"So you hang with her friends?" I know this was out of line to say, but it made me feel insignificant, even though when we are together I feel very significant.
"Actually, I haven't met any of them at this point."
Still, it sounds like they are at least semi-serious.
He then said he was feeling closed in with everything going on between us, and he needed to go home and clean his kitchen (he was calling from a coffee shop).

Sooooo...Friday he calls me and says he isn't sure he can see me both Sunday day and Sunday night because he has a test to grade from Friday and has to write another test for Monday.
I tell him I understand.
He says, "You know, if we see each other Sunday afternoon, Sunday night and Monday so I can see your witchy-poo costume, and I am not sure when I will get all of my school work done. That is the bummer about having the Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule. You use your weekend to grade and write tests."
I was totally cool.
I told him that we are talking about a lot of "Bethie" time, and I understand if it is too much or he just needs a break.
"That is a lot if Professor time, too, you know."
I said that with Aunt Flo visiting me, we wouldn't be doing that deed, STILL.
He teased me, "You know, we could just talk for a change. We used to be really good with that."
I said just let me know so I can plan on when to get my school stuff and house work done.
As we talked, things started feeling normal. And before you know it, he was talking about how he was going to work really hard to get his work done so we can hang out Sunday. He has to break in the afternoon, but he will let me know when his son's football game is over and I can come over from there. And Sunday is supposed to be prettier than Saturday, so it will be a perfect day to take the motorcycle out. Just show up at his place at 11:00.
He also gave me grief because he doesn't know where I live. And have I told my brothers about him. What about my over-protective brothers.
Things were good again.
So, here it is, Saturday night. He is, I am sure, having a good time with the other woman. I am hoping they don't have sex. Because I am an idiot.
And the period has messed up my grand plan to seduce him, but maybe a weekend of hanging out and talking, and making sure this is more than just great sexual chemistry, is what we need to do right now.

Just a quickie...

No, not the Professor and me! This update.
I have been horrendously busy--personally and professionally--but will be giving updates and stories soon!
Miss y'all!
Miss Bethie

Cruel to be kind...

No, this is not some sort of sick relationship banter being referred to in the title today. Professor and I had a very good evening together last night, and at one point we were singing the song, "Cruel to Be Kind" by (I believe) Nick Crenshaw. It was goofy and sweet and pretty much sums the two of us up.

So, Darren is right--Professor kept saying over and over, "This is getting dangerous." At first he was referring to the heavy petting going on, knowing full well I wasn't planning on having (nor did I have)sex. I plan on having sex with Professor, SERIOUSLY, but not last night. As I told him, I don't want to feel rushed like I would on a school night. Anyway, later the danger he was concerned about had to do with his feelings for me. Yes. He has feeling for me! He doesn't like to admit it, but he does. In fact, he even at one point told me that he really likes me and wants to be with me, but just can't right now (And I told him earlier in the evening, he isn't in ready to be in an exclusive relationship). Again later, he said, "Miss Bethie, I can't get over the feelings I have for you. I hate even saying that. This isn't supposed to be happening just now. And if you don't feel the same, that is okay. Don't say you feeling it too, just because I said it."

Wow.

After a loooong pause, I told him I really like him, too. I mean, I already knew that (DUH!) but I know he is going to continue dating other people. And I know he has to. I said as long as I am always in the top 3, that is fine. (Not really, but what else can I say at this point?) We had some deep conversations, mostly about him, but about me as well. He told me I can stop being right everything anytime I want. Oh, and at one point, he did refer to me as his girlfriend, then quickly added, "Not that we are exclusive!"

OH! And this little guy, who is only 15 pounds heavier than me, even though he is about 8 inches taller, carried me to the bedroom. It was HOT!

I told him that while we agreed that we are both dating other people, I am not the kind of girl who has sex with more than one man at a time. He asked if that meant I wasn't going to ever have sex with him. I assured him that no, what I mean is, he can do whatever he wants, but I am only going to be having sex with him, unless another man steals my heart and I decide to pursue that relationship. Should that time ever come, I will let him know, and he can decide if he wants to continue dating me or not.

And I was relieved to find out he hasn't been with anyone else at this point.

OF COURSE I still have some trepidation, and OF COURSE I am going to date anyone one else who is interesting and wants to go out. But, I am also really liking this guy, and want to see where this wild ride takes me. (Yes, I know this all sounds disjointed, but it is my frame of mind at this point.)

And so it begins...

After calling me 2 or 3 times a day, The Professor hasn't called me today. We talked yesterday, and he was going to be with his kids today, but usually, even after spending the evening with the kids, he'd call me after The Daily Show.

I want sex, he wants to get away. Typical.

Prayers and Thoughts

Two kids from the ski trip I attend every year passed away recently. Some of you probably remember my Deanna stories. She has passed away, as well as a young man named Travis. His father was murdered shortly before his diagnosis.

Thanks, all.

I hope no one here thinks poorly of me because of this...

But I need sex.
Okay, what I mean is, well, I need sex, is what I mean!
I have not been in a sexual relationship since before my attack, a bit more than 5 years ago.
I need it on many different levels.

For one thing, five years is a VERY long time for anyone to go. I joke about being a sex camel, but really, obviously, it is true for me.

Secondly, I need to do it so that I can not have this anxiety and stress about becoming intimate with a man. I know once I am with a guy, from there on out, it will be easier and my issues fewer. I won't worry about having to tell him I was raped, and that I have been celibate, sometimes by choice, sometimes not, for five years since.

My problem is, I have never been in a relationship that revolved around casual sex. That has never been my style, and I am not sure this leopard can change her spots.

I know the Professor is more than willing and able to accommodate me. But I also know he is dating other women. I don't know how I would handle him being intimate with more than just me. I have a sneaking suspicion there is another woman he is seeing as regularly as he sees me. I could be off, though.

But, for as neurotic as I am now, it will be ten-fold if we become lovers and he is with other women, or forgets to call one day, or whatever.

I know I would be monogamous, but I also know I can't expect the same of him. Especially given his circumstances.

I dunno. I have lots to ponder!

But I think I should send him a picture of the corset I bought from Frederick's to wear for Halloween. Just to make sure I stay in his mind. :)





P.S. Here is my horoscope for today...

Mercury, planet of the five senses, is in Scorpio, the zodiac sign of intensity. Today's tension with Neptune, planet of illusions, makes your love life uncertain. Stick to concrete arrangements and dates. Do you want clarity amidst the passion?

Ummmm...yeah...

This is an e-mail I received tonight from some clown.

You dont look 35 I dont think you look 25 you look hot. Im a short guy that cant find a nice looking short girl that dosnt want a tall guy. I like your eyes and the differant hair styles in your pics. nice smile. Tommorow is a big day for our sports bring home a winner baby.

Does it make sense now why I can get so wrapped up when I get a decent guy contacting me?

OY! My nerves!

Hot Chocolate and Decaf Herbal Tea

Met a new guy this morning for coffee. I am not sure why I always say that when I don't drink coffee, and this time, neither did my prospective suitor.

If you know me, you know who had the hot chocolate (me!) and who had the tea (him).

Nice enough guy. Not bad looking. In shape physically. Makes a decent living currently. Is going back to school to be a counselor.

There was something about him. He was just a tad creepy, or strange, or something. I can't quite put my finger on it.

And I wanted to like him. Seriously. I wanted to have a good date so that I am ready for whatever the Professor throws my way--which might, for all I know, be a "honey, my date Friday was way better than you!"

Then I took a step back, and made sure it wasn't because I am so smitten, although cautiously so, with the Professor, that this guy was a good one, but just was overshadowed my attraction to the Professor.

I really doubt that is it.

I usually give people a second date, should they ask, and I would most likely go out with this guy again, too. There have been a couple of guys I was initially not interested in who became guys I really liked after another date or two.

But, all the same, let me point a few things out...

This guy doesn't want kids. Okay, the professor may not either, but his is due to the fact, mainly, that he has two--one of each, even. This guy doesn't.
He doesn't like kids. He told me the story of substitute teaching for a day and a half, and just walking out. I had to hear over and over that it just isn't fair that I have a job where I don't work for 3 months out of the year. (I hate it when I hear that. DUDE! Look at my paychecks--I am PAID like I only work 9 months out of the year! Besides, I work anywhere from 50-70 hours during the school year!)

I dunno. There seemed to be more, but maybe not.

There are a couple of other guys out there I am talking to. I guess I need to see where they lead me.

He passed an important test!

Thursday night the Professor invited me over to his apartment. The idea was to watch an MST3K episode and then The Daily Show. But, the gods of lust were working against us, or for us as the case maybe. The VCR wouldn't play the tape! Well, it would play the tape, but the audio was messed up, and the radio, sounding very static-y, would play over the audio!

So, we talked, we sort of watched the Cardinals, but he is a Cubs fan, originally from Chicago, and felt the need to show me his coffee table book on Wrigley Field. And we made out. A lot.

Things were getting pretty steamy, and he told me he couldn't wait until the day comes when we finally make love. I asked him if he was ready for my baggage (as I have been told a lot of his). He was ready, and listened intently.

I told him about my attack. I explained that I have not been intimate with a man since then. I told him at first I couldn't physically, because I had a lot of healing to do. Then I couldn't emotionally, because I hadn't dealt with it. Then I put on weight and was neither attractive to the opposite sex, not willing to show my body to anyone. The few men I have confided in have freaked and left shortly after this bomb was dropped on them. I light-heartedly added, "You'd think these men would jump at the chance to be with me! I mean, I am tight like a virgin, but have fewer inhibitions and know what to do!" He smirked at that.

He couldn't understand why a guy would freak out about it. He held me, and asked me how I dealt with it, told me he was so sorry I had been through this. He was also concerned that I might blame myself for it. I assured him that even when it happened I never thought it was my own fault.

He is worried that I'm putting my heart on the line with him, and that he will be the jerk if we have sex and he decides we aren't right, or he isn't ready for us to be so serious.

I am a big girl, I let him know. I know he is a risk, because all relationships are about risk. Anytime you open yourself up to someone, physically, emotionally, whatever, you are vulnerable. And yet, humans go through it over and over again. He may have a few more factors to consider, but the fact he is so honest about them makes me think he would not be a jerk, even if he decided not to see me anymore. I believe all relationships make you grow, and through them we learn what we can accept, what we can't live with. Any growth is good, even when it comes with some growing pains. Even if things don't work out, and honestly, I have my doubts, I will be able to walk away having learned something new. Besides, I may be the one to ditch him!

While at his place, he had to call his kids. It was endearing. He was so good with them, but I couldn't help but think, there is a really good chance we would never have kids of our own, should we actually work out.

At one point, well several, actually, things got pretty steamy, and I put on the brakes. Later, as I was getting ready to go home and he was putting on his shoes to walk me to my car, he told me, "You know, I really wanted to keep going, and had a tough time halting."
"Yeah. I'm really sorry..."
"DON'T!" he said firmly, looking me deeply in the eyes. "Do NOT apologize for that! If you aren't ready, that's fine. Besides, when we finally are intimate, it is going to be both sweeter and more intense because we waited until we couldn't take it anymore. And the time was right for both of us."

Then he squeezed my hand and pulled me closer to an embrace, and quietly said in my ear, with a sexy smirk on his face, "of course, anytime is right for me."

On the way home, about 3 minutes after I had left, I remembered that my cellphone was still at his place and charging. So, I turned around and went back. I knocked on the door and opened the mail slot and called his name.

He answered the door with a very happy look on his face, and said, "You came back?" He obviously thought I had decided to do the deed with him. He looked totally crestfallen when I said I just needed my cellphone. I threw him a bone and we made out a little bit longer.

Those are the main details of our Thursday night. Friday was fine. He was running a little behind, and when I found out it was because he bought a new CD/DVD player, I said, "That is why you are late?"

He got a new DVD player just in case he has anymore company come over to watch a movie. I assume he meant me, but part of me was praying that his later date wasn't going to be at his place. Or that he would go to hers.

I have a date Sunday. So, what can I really say?

But, he sent me an e-mail, an article he wrote about a Rams player he did a case study on. He said in his e-mail that I should feel free to read it whenever I wanted, or if I had trouble sleeping, or, most of all, if I wanted to snub any dates I have on Sunday.

His parents and grandmother are in town now, but I hope to talk to him soon.

Guess what, guys!

I am kind of sort of dating someone.
I know this comes as a shock to everyone out there, but 'tis true.
He is very open and honest--almost too much so.
Funny, intelligent, and crazy about me.

Last night we had a long talk about a lot of issues that we have to deal with, including kids and dating exclusively.

We will call this new love interest The Professor. Not that I am wearing any shorts like MaryAnn's.

It was late, I only got 4 hours of sleep. I swore while we were talking that I was going to commit what we said, to memory and post it here today, but I don't recall totally.

Professor starts out, "Soooooo...what on your thoughts on us dating exclusively?"

Keep in mind that we have had one date, even though we talk on the phone constantly, and I know he really is into me.

"Well, We met online."
"Uh-huh"
"I always assume that the guys I meet online are talking to at least a dozen other women, and probably dating at least half of them."
Silence
"And I am usually pretty much doing the same, although I am trying to keep my number lower this time around."
"So, you want to date other people?"
"I want to make sure that I am not letting my instant connection with you blind me to other possibilities"
"I'll be honest here. I have had a date since I met with you Friday, and there are a few other ladies I have been seeing once in awhile."
"I figured as much."
"But the thing is, I think the whole time, I would rather be with you."
"Good."
"In fact, I think I need to tell a few of them about you, so they understand that while not exclusive, there is someone I really like, and it isn't them. I hate doing that, though, because I am used to being the dumpee, not the dumper. I'm no good at it."
"I'm not telling you that you have to dump anyone."
"Well, I have stopped communicating with anyone new who contacts me."
"Really? I'm not too interested in meeting new people, either. There are a few I am talking to, but that is enough right now."
"The thing is, I thought dating would be fun and exciting, and it is really good for my ego, because a lot of ladies have contacted me."
"I'm sure."
"But I learned that I am more of a relationship kind of guy."
"Yeah, dating a lot of people is exciting at first, but I like more stability and the emotional and physical intimacy of a relationship."
"Well, I am not going to lie to you, I have a date Friday night."
"I thought you and I were going to have coffee Friday."
"Yeah, after that. Is that okay?"
"Oh, okay. Well, I mean, we have had one date. I don't think we can say we are exclusive."
"But no one else makes me feel like you do. I think about you constantly. In fact, I have a list of the top 10 things I am looking for in a woman, and you fall short on only one of them. I swear! No one else even comes close. Wait a minute. I'll go get it!"
In a counseling session he was told to make this list, I guess as a way to see his wife isn't what he wants or needs. Sure enough, the list describes me pretty damn well. In fact, he even said he wanted someone who is "Spunky", which, as some of you know, was a nickname of mine I made into part of my screen name when I used to be on the Weight Watchers board. I told him that, and he almost fell out of his chair.
The thing I fell short on, breast size, which he had as the last item because he had no other major traits he required. Oh well. If he is that shallow...
We talked more and I explained that there is one guy I have been corresponding with who is currently overseas for another 2 weeks. I don't think it would be right to write him off when we have had some many exchanges. He said he understood.
We talked quite a long time, and around midnight we finally said our goodbyes.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone rang again. He wanted to tell me we could go out Tuesday after all, because his son's practice didn't start until 8:00. I explained that after he canceled, I made an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed. He thought that it was funny that women do that, but anyway. He was a little pouty that we wouldn't see each other until Friday. We tried to come up with other plans, but nothing seemed to work. Again, good byes, we hang up.

Then I called him about 10 minutes later. He answered the phone, "Fine. You can come over and sleep with me!" It was funny.

I told him that while, yes, I am sort of dating other people (but mainly blowing people off), he is my preference. When asked if I want to go out with someone, I push them off to see if he wants to do something.
I termed it as my preference. He said that he was like my default key.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I told him that contrary to what he thinks, I do come with some baggage, but that I would rather discuss it with him face-to-face than over the phone. When I finally tell him about my attack, I want to see his response--see what he is thinking. I think he will deal with it fine, but I need to see his body language and facial expression.

Other topics covered:
He isn't sure about the kid thing. He isn't totally writing it off, and he wants to be up front with me because he would never want to hurt me. That is why he is so brutally honest. He then went on to explain to me that if I were to have my own kids, I wouldn't have the time to do my charity work that he knows I thrive on. He really was spinning it like a master weaver. I just laughed at him. He then told me that he was leaving it in God's hands. I told him that is pretty much went out of God's hands when he had a vasectomy. We laughed about that. I suggested we just see if we are happy together. It may end up that we aren't as well matched as we currently seem. I suggested that if we are still together in 6 months, we re-evaluate where we are and what we want then.

I said I don't want to meet his kids for at least 6 months. He said it could be longer because his daughter is not doing well with the divorce. He is sure the kids will love me once they know me. He slipped in, "What is there NOT to love?" He is so right! :) But we want them to understand I played no hand in their divorce, and also their mom and dad are definitely over.

He told me that his heart is telling him to take this "relationship" quickly and seriously, but he knows he can't do that, either. He keeps telling me it is hard for him not to, but that is why he is dating other women. (I told him he can date whomever, whenever, but really, please, don't report back to me on these dates. He asked if I was bothered by him dating other women, and I assured him it isn't that, so much as it is just an awkward topic.) He let me know that he is not and has no plans to be intimate with any of them, whereas he has already had randy thoughts about me, and hopes to actually experience them sometime, but not before I am ready for that.

He wants to share the articles he has written with me, and maybe even have me read the novel he has started writing.

He thinks about me a lot and misses me all the time.

There are other things that currently escape me. But I just felt very close to him after our conversation yesterday. I trust him in that he is honest with me.

This is far from the perfect relationship I always envisioned, but it sure does have its good points.

IF...

If I were kind of sort of dating a guy, and if I were up at 12:30 in the morning because we had just had great conversation for over 2 hours, he might just look a little something like this...



Hypothetically speaking, of course!

Intermission, and Good Nights

I was enjoying the play--and the nakedness of the actors (not really--but I didn't mind either, lemme tell ya!) when the first act was over and intermission began. How painful could this be? It is just a little short duration of time, so I can deal with this.

Then he asked if I understood that baseball was being used as a symbol for the world, and not just baseball.

I told him he was being a little too large on scale. It was being used as a metaphor (so much more impressive than "symbol", don't you think?) of AMERICA. The melding of ethnic groups, the commercialism, the ideals, etc.

I then changed the subject and told him I had seen Wallace and Gromit with my niece and nephew. I knew he was a fan, and we both mentioned seeing it.
I said that I liked it, and suggested that he take a date to see it. There is some more adult humor and it shows your "whimsical side" as I termed it.

He was down right mean. I had to hear about how sick he is of everyone telling him what to do with these dates, and he is doing just fine, thank you very much. He doesn't need me or anyone else to tell him what he needs to do.

If all of the women he is dating have kids, after all, why would they want to see a kids' movie when that is what they are doing when they have their kids.

"Well, that is another dynamic. I didn't realize every woman you are meeting on Match has a kid."

"Well, see there? Who are you to give me advice when you don't even know my dating situation? If you don't know the kind of women I am dating, you can't tell me how to win them over."

"I'm just saying, I don't know a woman who doesn't like a guy with a sense of humor and who can laugh at himself and not take himself so seriously. And it was a good, cute, funny movie."

"Well, I am getting ready to set up a date with a woman who is a professor and who also has season tickets to the theater. That is what I do to show I have culture."

"Huh...well, just for the record, I am dating a professor right now, too. Actually dating. He has a brilliant mind, and is never condescending. I am sure his students love him."

Intermission ended, and as far as I was concerned, our friendship was just about over, too.

When the play ended, I was very gracious, saying I enjoyed the play and was glad he thought to bring me.

Then, he had me walk down a darkened street, in a very bad neighborhood, to my car, by myself. Which was the same situation when I was attacked. He doesn't know the story, but I had told him I get a little wiggy in those circumstances. He was parked much closer than I was. He really didn't want to walk. Heaven forbid he drive me to my car, or allow me to drive him back to his. Luckily there was a nice couple who were walking in the same direction, so I just walked along side of them and felt safe.

So, MD is not really on my list of favorite people right now. I can deal with a lot, but he pushed far too many buttons this time.

I doubt I hear from him anytime soon, if ever again.

My Saturday Night Torture Session

No, I have not suddenly gotten into S&M or anything.

I went to see a very good play with a friend. We met on Match when he was moving to St. Louis from New York. We never, ever tried to date. We just hang out, because my profile was interesting (duh!) and he needed friends here.

So, we usually do things like catch a movie or something. Those movies have always been a little odd, like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Usually a movie based on a book we have both read.

Let's call my friend MD; not because he is a doctor, but because he is a member of MENSA and he is also a dork. Sound harsh? Yes, but it is also very true. Because he finds every opportunity to tell me that he is MENSA.

Let me tell you, my oldest brother was a member of MENSA, and dropped his membership because the people were so odd. My brother and I have very comparable IQs, so I know if I were so inclined, I could also be a member. I am not interested. I have nothing against the members, and I think it is great to find a niche and to use your brain. I just think that it isn't for everyone who qualifies.

After having a superior attitude about being a member of this group, I finally said my piece, and made it known that I have the IQ, but not the desire. Now, this was after a good 10-15 minutes of having to hear about these people. I just snapped finally.

I also, though, said I think it is great for people who enjoy it, people who are looking to broaden their social circles and especially for someone who has just moved here. In now way did I make it sound like members were losers.

I was asked why I wouldn't want to join, and I explained that my brother had been a member, and after hearing about the things they do, I was not interested. I went on to say that my brother and I are a lot alike in our likes and dislikes, so I saw no reason to try it out.

From there I was berated. I said I would think that many people would network there.

I got a wide-eyed look of "Oh my God! What an idiotic thing to say!" as he went on in an extremely, painfully, condescending voice, "Noooooo...I mean, there was one couple who met there, and they got married after several years, but not really."

"I didn't mean network as in dating, I meant as far as business connections, job opportunities and such."

Same look that I wanted to wipe off of his smug face. "Nooooo. I mean, I have never seen anyone handing out business cards or anything like that. I just doesn't happen. It is a social thing."

"I am not saying that they are actively looking for a job, but if something comes up and you know someone...you know they are intelligent and have a feel for them."

"Ummmmm...well, okay, but I don't think so."

He went on about the Halloween party they are having in Chicago. I asked if he was wearing a costume, and he said the costumes were puns, and that unless it was a brilliant pun, you were better off not dressing up. He told me about a woman who dressed like Mona Lisa and sneezed all night--the Da Vinci Cold. And another guy who was wearing a suit with a chain hanging out of the fly--Dick Cheney. I didn't think they were that clever.

He finally asked about me. We talked about the school year and I said that I am having a tough time bonding with this group. They are either little druggies, or big dorks.
He made me sound like a horrible person and that it is my job to educate these kids regardless of that. I don't need to bond with them! I need to educate them! By the way, do we have a gifted and talented program here in Missouri, because in New York they do! Again, very condescending.

Idiot--gifted and talented is a part of special education! Yes, we have it!

Some how the topic moved on to some of the accommodations we make for our Jehovah's Witnesses at school. My example was that they can't read A Christmas Carol, so they read Silas Mariner, instead. Same plot. Same theme. No holiday. He then asked if these kids, the Jehovah's Witnesses, like children. I knew this was a Michael Jackson reference, but I thought it was a stupid one. I mean, Jeffrey Dahmer was Catholic, but I don't make jokes about all Catholics being cannibalistic murders. So, I gave him a look, which made him explain the joke like I am 5. He then said, "See, it is a pun. Like those costumes. Never mind."

I told him that is not a pun. There was no play of words there.

Then the play started. Thank God!!!

But intermission was a mere 80 minutes away.

Family - the little things I won't let mean so much.

With family like this, who needs enemies?

Actually, it isn't entirely their fault. Well, not my mom's anyway.

When I start dating someone, not that I am currently dating anyone, and certainly no one who is almost 9 years older than me and has two kids--a 'tween and a teen, I tell them very little if anything at all about the gentleman in question.

So, my brother was aware that I was having coffee with someone Friday before I went to the movies with him and my (step) niece and nephew.

I rarely point out that Jess and Zach are step-kids, because, quite frankly, I embrace them as part of the family, even though I missed out on the most-precious baby years. But the point they are steps are important to this story.

My brother asked how the meeting went, and while I was as elusive as ever, I did mention that this guy has two kids. My brother made a face, and said, "Oh! That's just great!" in his exaggerated, sarcastic way. I cheerfully added that this guy's ex-wife lives just a few blocks away. He made another snide remark, and I said that they were still amicable, and I think that is great. Bro doesn't think it is a good idea that I date a guy with 2 kids. Never mind that he married a women with 2 kids the same age at the time of their nuptials, and that they had different fathers. I kept my mouth shut.

I was at a funeral visitation tonight (no one I am close to, and she had Alzheimer's, so really, it was expected and a blessing)and my mom started talking to a family member there. They started talking about this woman's boss. Then about his wife. Then about how the wife is 10 years younger. My mom's words, "Well, no wonder the old coot is happy!"

So, what is the cut off, in her world, of what it too old and what is too young. Is 10 the cut off? Or is 9 years too old, too? Most likely, 9 years is too old for her daughter, if not the rest of the world.

Part of me thinks I should talk to them more. But really I keep saying over and over to myself, "And they wonder why I don't tell them more!"

Bummer!

I am not going to the romantic restaurant in a historic area of the city originally planned for Tuesday.

Not that I had a date with a guy I like, or anything. And if I did, it has nothing to do with the fact that he has his kids on Tuesdays now. And certainly I don't have to wait now until Friday to see some non-existent guy! My second job is not interfering with my dating life at all.

It made me feel a little better...

I went to a play last night with a friend (the play was good, the company sucked, but that is a blog for later).

The play was about a baseball player, a STAR baseball player, who admits he is gay, and everything that happens as a result. It was really a commentary on the world in general.

There was male nudity. LOTS of male nudity, as the shower became a problem for the players.

I really focused more on the actors faces, but I did look down a few times. It was hard not to.

One of the guys, I noticed, had stretch marks and cellulite! A young, buff actor! It made me feel better about my own. I just never think about men as having cellulite!

It is sad what I will grasp on to make me feel better about myself, really

I would like to tell you...

about my date this afternoon.
I would like to tell you that he was handsome in person.
I would love for you to know he told me that my pictures don't do me justice, even though he feels the need to pour over them constantly.
I wish you could have been there when he told me he is infatuated with me, and that he would call me later in the evening.
I want you to know about the thrill when he did call, and that he also sent me an e-mail saying he is too chicken to tell me that it took all the willpower that he had to not give me a long, hard, wet kiss.
Believe me, I really want you to know that we have a date set up for Tuesday, and he called me twice tonight, and he is calling tomorrow. (Maybe he is stalker-ish, but after the fat ass incident, and Beamer never calling, this is what my oh-so-fragile ego needs!)
Nothing would satisfy me as much as showing y'all his picture and that he has the most fabulous blue eyes I have ever scene.

Anyway, because I don't want to jinx this, I can't tell you any of this.

The pressure is on!!!

I am meeting a hottie for coffee.
He is totally excited about meeting me.
I am very attracted to him on many levels--even if he is almost 9 year older than me--but I am not sure I am ready to meet him!
I'M FAT!!!
HE IS A MARATHON RUNNER!!!

He said he was shaking with anticipation.

I don't think I can live up to his image. I doubt anyone can.

BUT--He has had a vasectomy. Two kids and his divorce won't be finalized for 2 weeks, although they have been separated for 2 years and he told her he was ready to date again.

Basically, I am going to be a rebound again. I see it coming, yet I am going down that road anyway.

As far as the vasectomy, he said if he met the right girl, he would get it reversed or do in vitro. (He teaches at a big university with a good hospital associated with it, so I am sure he could get a good doctor.)

And he already proposed and asked me my ring size.

If I don't report back--things went well and I am trying not to jinx it!

Shhhh!

I don't want to jinx anything, but there just might be a guy I am talking to from a dating site, and guess what...

HE LOVES JON STEWART!!!

The numbers are in...I am pure nerd!

My latest okcupid test results:

Pure Nerd
56 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 39% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

Then the sun peeked out from behind the clouds.

I have been in a dark place for a few days. And even when something good happens, i.e. a hottie wants to meet me, I freak and think of everything that will be wrong when we meet, which all, in my mind, leads to yet another rejection for me.

The "fat ass" comment has rocked my world. I gave Mark the cold shoulder at work, and he didn't care that I was upset. He chuckled about it some more. I wrote a scathing e-mail to him a few hours ago, explaining that it was cruel comment and since I always try to build up his self-esteem, it made it ten times worse to hear.

He has yet to respond. Which, of course, makes it worse, although I am not surprised he hasn't replied.

So, when one of my students, who has had some difficulty in her home life as of late had an emotional breakdown talking to the counselor today, I felt foolish for my behavior, (although I refuse to apologize on this one.)

And when the same student came to talk to me because I am the only one who makes her laugh, according to her, I felt like a hero.

I am entitled to bad days. I have the right to get angry when a friend whom I trust hurts me. I am entitled to stay angry when the friend acts like it is no big deal or doesn't care about my feelings. And since I am only human, there will be days I over react and let other issues cloud my judgment.

But here is the bottom line; My students need me. I can change their day, their perspective, their life, their world. It is an awesome power, and one that often overwhelms me.

Today, a student's casual smile, a sign that things will be fine, almost had me in tears. It reminded me of what is important. It made me see that while I am powerless about what others say to me, I am quite powerful in how I can make others feel. I may falter from time-to-time, but rest assured--I am using that power (most days) for good and not for evil.

Back in the saddle again...and not happy about it

Ummmm...I think I have a date coming up really soon.
With a man who looks like a news anchor in training (in a hot way, I mean).
And runs marathons.
And had a Ph.D. when he was only 29. (How freaking hot is THAT???)

I cannot meet him! I am broken out, I have been eating like crazy with my doldrums over Beamer, and I feel ugly!

I HATE dating! And why aren't men like women, in that, he could think I have a beautiful soul, dazzling wit, and a sparkling personality and be happy with all of that?

You take the low road, I'll take the high road.

I don't know if this is part of that whole "Window Shopper" that I am (see "Okay, Cupid," if you don't know of what I speak), but I am having a major issue I need to move on from.

Sure, there are my usual dating issues, but this is different, although it, too, has to do with a boy.

But the boy, and I do mean BOY, is my "friend," Mark.

Some of you may have read that he told me I have a fat boo-tay last Saturday. This has really, truly, genuinely, and deeply upset me. I keep fixating on it. I have body issues (No, Miss Bethie! We haven't noticed! HA!) so this just really cut. Especially when coming from a friend. Especially a male friend.

So, then I spiral out of control. We had one date and decided to be friends. Did he find my rear end so repulsive that he knew he would never want any physical contact with me? Is that the problem with Beamer, too? I am quite sure that many of the guys I only go out with once, maybe twice, are turned off by it. But to hear a person who is supposed to be a friend say it, TO MY FACE!

I tried to talk to him about it, and he only laughs, and either says, "Well..." OR says he can't believe I am upset over that. Men.

Even so, most men I know have enough good sense not to say that to someone. Especially a girl who is upset over her current dating situation!

And when he went on to tell me his new girlfriend, of less than a week, wears a thong, I was really livid. I have told him I don't want details. And I especially don't want to hear it when I am in my current state of mind. He knows I have some sexual issues. Yet...

So, part of me, who has to work with him tonight at the second job, a job I got him, wants to tell him that I was being kind when I said he doesn't sound like a girl. He does. A WHINY girl! "And, by the way," I want to tell him, "your teeth do need to be fixed." And while I am at it, I want to tell him that while he is 3 years younger, a fact he likes to tease me about, I STILL look ten years younger! In fact, I was carded the Friday before last. When my manicure/pedicurist asked where I have been, and I told her school, she and her husband both thought I was a college student and couldn't believe I am a teacher. Also, a co-worker, who is 7 years younger, told me yesterday that I look younger than her.

I want to tell him all of this, but I don't want to be vengeful. His self -confidence is usually pretty low, too, so I refuse to be the one who puts him into an abyss of self-doubt.

But the cruel part of me hopes his new girlfriend does.

Which is why I am sure there is a flame with my name on it in hell.

Okay, Cupid!

I just took a test on okcupid.com. When it called me a window shopper and it was referring to men and not shoes, I thought it was totally off. I want a relationship more than anything. Seriously.

Then I read the part I put in italics for y'all.

Yup. That is pretty much me. OUCH!

The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)


Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.


Your exact opposite:
The Stiletto
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door

Itchin' to be Witchin'

I LOVE Halloween. Any occasion to wear my black wig and be someone else for an evening is reason enough for me to celebrate.
And I am usually a prim and proper gal, but on Halloween I try to be sexy. At least a little.

So, this year I am going to be a witch. I have this cool green organza hat, a black crinkled skirt, black ankle boots and spiderweb pantyhose. But my favorite part of the costume, and the part I hope to use again at some point in my personal life, is a corset from Frederick's of Hollywood. It has boning to push the breasts up, and cinching to bring in my waist. I have it in black, and, assuming it shows up on time, long black gloves with marabou around the tops. I am going to have kohl eyes, deep red lips stick and false eyelashes. I have a lace see-through shirt I may wear over the corset. (I had a beautiful sheer shirt, but never wore it and think I may have put it out with my other Salvation Army offerings. I hope maybe I will stumble across it.)

So, now all I need are some PLANS for Halloween to wear my sexed-out ensemble.

The infamous corset.

I love him, but I am going to kill him...

No--not a new boy, or even an old boy.

My principal. He was my assistant principal 2 years ago, and I loved him then. He has not let me down as my principal.

HOWEVER...

I have a student who is bipolar and has OCD. He hates school and doesn't want to be here. He is also prone to violent fits. His momma called me last week and was very concerned. He and I have talked and he feels that a few teachers are singling him out. They aren't, but that is his perception.

He stayed home today because he thinks he is being bullied. His mom called the principal. The principal said the student needs to tell a teacher or him about it. After talking to the teachers, all of whom assured him the student wasn't being bullied, he told the parent the kid just wants to stay home and keeps making up something new everyday.

I do think this is true, but I know how Principal can be, so I am sure it sounded offensive.

He then hands me a note after saying he told her this, and says, "You need to call her."

Great.

The latest

Feeling a little unloved.
Why?
I put my profile back up on Match. Normally I would average about 75-100 hits a day. The first 24 hours--only 27. Two winks and an e-mail. Oh, three winks, but if they don't have a photo, I ain't counting it.

I would almost sell my soul to have Beamer call me and tell me he is a fool and wants to be my boyfriend. (How lame to be 35 and looking for a "boyfriend" and not a "man.")

I'm not ready to date, but I am not ready to sit on my fat ass alone every weekend, either. (According to my "friend" Mark, it is indeed fat. He also felt the need to tell me that his new girlfriend of 6 days wears a thong and they have gotten it on a few times already. Good for him--the same guy who hates to even hear I have a date I am attracted to. But this is a huge tangent.)

Anyway--I would prefer to be on the Yahoo site, but there are a few people I want to avoid and there is no way to do it. Damn them for not letting me block people!

The bonus for you guys--if my numbers pick up, hopefully you all will have some funny stories to read about my pathetic online dates.

I hope you can sit back and enjoy.

Chelsea

This is one of the girls from my first ski trip with the Circle of Friends group. If you know me, you know about it.

Chelsea is a great kid, and I think of her often and always hope she is doing well.

Sorry, Diane! I didn't know you had sent this! It was on my school e-mail, which I can't access over the summer, and I just noticed it today! YIKES! Thanks for sending it to me, though,



Chelsea