Our first tiff...
And this was sooooooo totally my fault! I HATE that! This guy doesn't want a committed relationship, yet confides in me how much he likes me, and I then give him ammunition to run!
Let me just say, as sad and pathetic as it is, I haven't had sex in the 2000s, so I am nervous, and anxious and need to get my nerves out and questions answered, so I have been talking to a friend in St. Louis. Honestly, my friends here on the blog would be better, but I sometimes need an immediate response.
So, I was telling friend about this message the Professor sent me, where he says his first impression was that I was this innocent, sweet, cheerleader-type, spunky, girl-next-door, and as it turns out, I am an animal. (I had been sending him some dirty text messages to make parent/teacher night go by faster, and also, I bought a book that will make oral sex more fulfilling for him, because he has NEVER climaxed through oral sex. I was sending progress reports on my exercises and so forth.) He sounded happy that he first impression was wrong, and even added, "Not that I mind!"
Friend tells me she isn't sure that is such a good thing. If his initial attraction was to one type of girl, and he finds out I am another type, there is a problem.
Note here: I was feeling a bit jealous because I knew he was going to a Halloween party Saturday, and I was pretty sure it was with the other girl he dates. Also, I had really bad PMS. It can make me very irrational.
So, the rest of the night, I am tossing and turning thinking that the other girl is probably sweet and nice and that is what he wants. I am just the hussy he is going to use for strictly sexual reasons.
So, the next morning I go to school (where I find 3 students are off of their meds) and I send an e-mail...
Professor,
Just so you know you aren't the only one to over-analyze everything, where you trying to make me feel like a trollop or sexy?
To which he replies:
TROLLOP??? What year IS this? 1915??
ugh, you do take the cake, ya know? I wasn't 'making you feel' anything; it was just an observation about my initial perception of you vs. now. I almost don't want to explain myself any further for fear of you taking it the wrong way.
Now I feel badly, and to make it better, send this:
NO! I think you can be sweet and bubbly and the girl-next-door and be sexual! I am just a little on edge, because SERIOUSLY you are the first guy I have gotten this physical with this quickly, and then I hear that I am no longer perceived as a "nice" girl!
Forget it. Maybe Aunt Flo is making a stop this weekend. Or maybe I just kind of sort of miss you and am feeling a bit sulky about it.
It didn't help--go figure!
So he sends this:
I NEVER said you weren't a 'nice' girl!
Not able to leave this alone, I write back:
You didn't. I'm sorry. I meant I "hear". Hard to convey what I mean in an e-mail. Especially when written between classes or as kids are working on assignments.
Let me add this...I think that you are a great guy. I just needed some clarifications. I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt my feelings.
I am NOT picking a fight.
I leave that to the pros, like you! ;)
(I was asked to sponsor the debate club. I can't imagine why!)
He admits he tries to pick fights, all in good fun. So, that remark wasn't totally out of line.
Let me add, after sending the initial e-mail, Friend tells me she and her boyfriend, who had just moved into their house together about 6 weeks ago, are having problems and have decided to give it another month, and if things aren't better, they are selling the house and breaking up.
YOU MEAN YOU JUST PROJECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS ON TO ME, AND I OPENED A CAN OFF WORMS THAT NEED NOT HAVE BEEN OPENED?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Okay, well, Professor didn't respond to my last e-mail. So, again, in my neurotic state, I send one more to him:
What does a 4'11" redhead use for birth control?
Her personality. :)
Sorry if I came off as a bitch this morning. When you called, I thought it was
cute and flirty, then I over-analyzed everything.
Again, no response.
So, I do what any girl with more issues than National Geographic would do, and I call.
And leave a message.
And wait.
And it is one of those rare days where I keep getting phone calls and keep perking up as if it is him calling. But it isn't.
But, I did talk to 2 boys who want to go out with me, and one of them I kind of like. And while talking to him, Professor calls. I ask Professor if I can call him back, and after another 15 minutes of conversation with the other boy, I get off the phone and call professor.
We chat. He wants to know how mad I will be if he cancels our Saturday afternoon date (where my plan was to make his head spin so much, he doesn't want to see his Saturday night girl.)
I tell him I will be disappointed, but not mad. (Thank GOD I was able to hide the tears in my voice). He explains that he has had no "Professor" time the last 3 weekends, and wants to have some of that on Saturday.
He then says maybe Sunday day we can go for a ride on his bike before his son's game. That is fine, but we have a tendency to get hot and heavy Sunday nights. There is no way he will want to do that right before his son's game. I asked about the night, and eventually he says we could do both. He'll break for the game, and in the evening we can get together again.
I said that I was hoping to show him my costume Monday, so if that is too much Bethie, let me know. I can skip one of those times. He said it is fine, but there is a tension between us now.
He then says he noticed I took my profile off the site where we met. I told him yes, and I told him I was going to.
He decided not to take his down. Is that okay?
Of course I said that was fine.
He makes a comment about me having another date over the weekend, and I said, "Two, actually."
He was shocked. I said that I assumed his party Saturday was with the other girl, and he confirms this.
Let me add something here...he and I have gone out for coffee twice, and other than that we just go to his place. We never go out. He will say he wants to, and originally we were going to see "Good Night, and Good Luck" Saturday, and another time he was going to take me to this great restaurant before he had to change the night he has his kids, but we never actually go anywhere. And we had just been discussing this prior. So, I said, laughing..."So she is your public girlfriend, and I am the private girlfriend?"
He got defensive and told me this was not "public" it was a party a friend of hers was having.
"So you hang with her friends?" I know this was out of line to say, but it made me feel insignificant, even though when we are together I feel very significant.
"Actually, I haven't met any of them at this point."
Still, it sounds like they are at least semi-serious.
He then said he was feeling closed in with everything going on between us, and he needed to go home and clean his kitchen (he was calling from a coffee shop).
Sooooo...Friday he calls me and says he isn't sure he can see me both Sunday day and Sunday night because he has a test to grade from Friday and has to write another test for Monday.
I tell him I understand.
He says, "You know, if we see each other Sunday afternoon, Sunday night and Monday so I can see your witchy-poo costume, and I am not sure when I will get all of my school work done. That is the bummer about having the Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule. You use your weekend to grade and write tests."
I was totally cool.
I told him that we are talking about a lot of "Bethie" time, and I understand if it is too much or he just needs a break.
"That is a lot if Professor time, too, you know."
I said that with Aunt Flo visiting me, we wouldn't be doing that deed, STILL.
He teased me, "You know, we could just talk for a change. We used to be really good with that."
I said just let me know so I can plan on when to get my school stuff and house work done.
As we talked, things started feeling normal. And before you know it, he was talking about how he was going to work really hard to get his work done so we can hang out Sunday. He has to break in the afternoon, but he will let me know when his son's football game is over and I can come over from there. And Sunday is supposed to be prettier than Saturday, so it will be a perfect day to take the motorcycle out. Just show up at his place at 11:00.
He also gave me grief because he doesn't know where I live. And have I told my brothers about him. What about my over-protective brothers.
Things were good again.
So, here it is, Saturday night. He is, I am sure, having a good time with the other woman. I am hoping they don't have sex. Because I am an idiot.
And the period has messed up my grand plan to seduce him, but maybe a weekend of hanging out and talking, and making sure this is more than just great sexual chemistry, is what we need to do right now.
Let me just say, as sad and pathetic as it is, I haven't had sex in the 2000s, so I am nervous, and anxious and need to get my nerves out and questions answered, so I have been talking to a friend in St. Louis. Honestly, my friends here on the blog would be better, but I sometimes need an immediate response.
So, I was telling friend about this message the Professor sent me, where he says his first impression was that I was this innocent, sweet, cheerleader-type, spunky, girl-next-door, and as it turns out, I am an animal. (I had been sending him some dirty text messages to make parent/teacher night go by faster, and also, I bought a book that will make oral sex more fulfilling for him, because he has NEVER climaxed through oral sex. I was sending progress reports on my exercises and so forth.) He sounded happy that he first impression was wrong, and even added, "Not that I mind!"
Friend tells me she isn't sure that is such a good thing. If his initial attraction was to one type of girl, and he finds out I am another type, there is a problem.
Note here: I was feeling a bit jealous because I knew he was going to a Halloween party Saturday, and I was pretty sure it was with the other girl he dates. Also, I had really bad PMS. It can make me very irrational.
So, the rest of the night, I am tossing and turning thinking that the other girl is probably sweet and nice and that is what he wants. I am just the hussy he is going to use for strictly sexual reasons.
So, the next morning I go to school (where I find 3 students are off of their meds) and I send an e-mail...
Professor,
Just so you know you aren't the only one to over-analyze everything, where you trying to make me feel like a trollop or sexy?
To which he replies:
TROLLOP??? What year IS this? 1915??
ugh, you do take the cake, ya know? I wasn't 'making you feel' anything; it was just an observation about my initial perception of you vs. now. I almost don't want to explain myself any further for fear of you taking it the wrong way.
Now I feel badly, and to make it better, send this:
NO! I think you can be sweet and bubbly and the girl-next-door and be sexual! I am just a little on edge, because SERIOUSLY you are the first guy I have gotten this physical with this quickly, and then I hear that I am no longer perceived as a "nice" girl!
Forget it. Maybe Aunt Flo is making a stop this weekend. Or maybe I just kind of sort of miss you and am feeling a bit sulky about it.
It didn't help--go figure!
So he sends this:
I NEVER said you weren't a 'nice' girl!
Not able to leave this alone, I write back:
You didn't. I'm sorry. I meant I "hear". Hard to convey what I mean in an e-mail. Especially when written between classes or as kids are working on assignments.
Let me add this...I think that you are a great guy. I just needed some clarifications. I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt my feelings.
I am NOT picking a fight.
I leave that to the pros, like you! ;)
(I was asked to sponsor the debate club. I can't imagine why!)
He admits he tries to pick fights, all in good fun. So, that remark wasn't totally out of line.
Let me add, after sending the initial e-mail, Friend tells me she and her boyfriend, who had just moved into their house together about 6 weeks ago, are having problems and have decided to give it another month, and if things aren't better, they are selling the house and breaking up.
YOU MEAN YOU JUST PROJECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS ON TO ME, AND I OPENED A CAN OFF WORMS THAT NEED NOT HAVE BEEN OPENED?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Okay, well, Professor didn't respond to my last e-mail. So, again, in my neurotic state, I send one more to him:
What does a 4'11" redhead use for birth control?
Her personality. :)
Sorry if I came off as a bitch this morning. When you called, I thought it was
cute and flirty, then I over-analyzed everything.
Again, no response.
So, I do what any girl with more issues than National Geographic would do, and I call.
And leave a message.
And wait.
And it is one of those rare days where I keep getting phone calls and keep perking up as if it is him calling. But it isn't.
But, I did talk to 2 boys who want to go out with me, and one of them I kind of like. And while talking to him, Professor calls. I ask Professor if I can call him back, and after another 15 minutes of conversation with the other boy, I get off the phone and call professor.
We chat. He wants to know how mad I will be if he cancels our Saturday afternoon date (where my plan was to make his head spin so much, he doesn't want to see his Saturday night girl.)
I tell him I will be disappointed, but not mad. (Thank GOD I was able to hide the tears in my voice). He explains that he has had no "Professor" time the last 3 weekends, and wants to have some of that on Saturday.
He then says maybe Sunday day we can go for a ride on his bike before his son's game. That is fine, but we have a tendency to get hot and heavy Sunday nights. There is no way he will want to do that right before his son's game. I asked about the night, and eventually he says we could do both. He'll break for the game, and in the evening we can get together again.
I said that I was hoping to show him my costume Monday, so if that is too much Bethie, let me know. I can skip one of those times. He said it is fine, but there is a tension between us now.
He then says he noticed I took my profile off the site where we met. I told him yes, and I told him I was going to.
He decided not to take his down. Is that okay?
Of course I said that was fine.
He makes a comment about me having another date over the weekend, and I said, "Two, actually."
He was shocked. I said that I assumed his party Saturday was with the other girl, and he confirms this.
Let me add something here...he and I have gone out for coffee twice, and other than that we just go to his place. We never go out. He will say he wants to, and originally we were going to see "Good Night, and Good Luck" Saturday, and another time he was going to take me to this great restaurant before he had to change the night he has his kids, but we never actually go anywhere. And we had just been discussing this prior. So, I said, laughing..."So she is your public girlfriend, and I am the private girlfriend?"
He got defensive and told me this was not "public" it was a party a friend of hers was having.
"So you hang with her friends?" I know this was out of line to say, but it made me feel insignificant, even though when we are together I feel very significant.
"Actually, I haven't met any of them at this point."
Still, it sounds like they are at least semi-serious.
He then said he was feeling closed in with everything going on between us, and he needed to go home and clean his kitchen (he was calling from a coffee shop).
Sooooo...Friday he calls me and says he isn't sure he can see me both Sunday day and Sunday night because he has a test to grade from Friday and has to write another test for Monday.
I tell him I understand.
He says, "You know, if we see each other Sunday afternoon, Sunday night and Monday so I can see your witchy-poo costume, and I am not sure when I will get all of my school work done. That is the bummer about having the Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule. You use your weekend to grade and write tests."
I was totally cool.
I told him that we are talking about a lot of "Bethie" time, and I understand if it is too much or he just needs a break.
"That is a lot if Professor time, too, you know."
I said that with Aunt Flo visiting me, we wouldn't be doing that deed, STILL.
He teased me, "You know, we could just talk for a change. We used to be really good with that."
I said just let me know so I can plan on when to get my school stuff and house work done.
As we talked, things started feeling normal. And before you know it, he was talking about how he was going to work really hard to get his work done so we can hang out Sunday. He has to break in the afternoon, but he will let me know when his son's football game is over and I can come over from there. And Sunday is supposed to be prettier than Saturday, so it will be a perfect day to take the motorcycle out. Just show up at his place at 11:00.
He also gave me grief because he doesn't know where I live. And have I told my brothers about him. What about my over-protective brothers.
Things were good again.
So, here it is, Saturday night. He is, I am sure, having a good time with the other woman. I am hoping they don't have sex. Because I am an idiot.
And the period has messed up my grand plan to seduce him, but maybe a weekend of hanging out and talking, and making sure this is more than just great sexual chemistry, is what we need to do right now.
posted by Beth at
9:58 PM
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