I was have a rough day...

I have a student in crisis, and I am not sure what to do, or how to handle it. If you heard the near cry in his mama's voice, you would understand why I am so concerned. This is serious, and not an over-reactive parent, of which I have so many this year.

Then my brother sent me this...



How can I not smile at this?

GREAT GOOGLEY-MOOGLEY!!!

Beamer called.
I pretended like I didn't know who it was calling me.
And he made a faux pas...He said, (sort of) "This is Beamer Dude, from Match."
We met on a different dating site, but whatever. (I only wish I knew his handle and could see when he was last active there.)

He was very apologetic, and said he has been thinking about me and wants to see me really soon.

He was out of town last weekend, and has friends coming in town this weekend (and I knew these two things were coming up, just had the order reversed).

He has had to put in longer hours, and he plays softball on 2 leagues and also bowls one night.

We talked longer than usual. It was good, and we laughed and he was sweet.

He says he will call me later this week, and if his company leaves early enough, he would like to get together Sunday.

I am going to be very careful. As I have said before, he is great when we are together. He is totally into me and wants me to be happy. However, I also know that if it is genuine, he should feel the same when I am not around.

I am hoping the next time he apparently falls off the face of the earth, it doesn't hit with my PMS. I am not guaranteeing I won't flip out, but I will try to be a little less neurotic.

He Was Pretty, and Witty and...Gay

J.G. [sigh]. I had a crush on him the first moment I saw him. And when he would always make it a point to come talk to me, I was down right smitten. (Something new!)

I didn't run into him too much, because I hung out at one university, mainly with the soccer players, and he played soccer at a different university. But he would stop by on occasion, because he knew the soccer players at the university where I hung out, and he had a couple of friends who attended this college.

J.G. was not just cute with a soccer player's butt (still not quite as cute as James's, though), but he was smart, liberal, well-dressed, and could make me both laugh and quiver. How did I not see it coming?

Anyway, I was the envy of all of my friends when I was the one he would talk to, and one "friend" in particular, whose goal in life was to date a soccer player, couldn't see straight when he asked me for my number. (Same girl, who was a finance major at this university, had to have me explain the movie Wall Street to her. OY!)

He called me the next day or the day after, and we talked quite awhile and he asked me to go to a Blues game and dinner with him. Considering I was 19 at the time, this was a "fancy" first date! I could barely contain my excitement.

So, imagine my dismay when the day of our date, I wake up vomiting. I could not believe my bad luck! I could tell it took him quite a bit of courage to get up the nerve to ask me, and considering he kept asking me, "Are you sure you want to go to a Blues game? Is that alright?" I didn't want him to think that I wasn't interested, so I ate some soda crackers, had hot tea with honey, used plenty of concealer and bronzer and went on the date.

He thought I was one of "those" girls who doesn't eat on a date. So wrong, but what are you going to do? But the thrilling part came when he put on his glasses...I love a guy in glasses! Especially the "school boy" glasses of the 80s and early 90s. I got a goofy grin, and he said, "I have to wear them to see the game."

"No, you don't get it. I looooove guys in glasses!"

He gave me cockeyed smile, a quick hug and held my hand as we walked to the arena.

After that, I was constantly going to his soccer games, going to movies, and basically was just blissfully happy with him. The state of euphoria I was in seemed perpetual, and I was sure we were meant to be together.

My family thought he was great. We were often at one another's house, and everything was comfortable and normal. And after a few months, he told me he loved me.

In fact, he was out without me, one rare occasion, and the "friend" who was so envious that I was dating him to begin with ran into him. Asking smuggly, thinking we must have broken up since he was out without me, how I was, he quickly answer, "I just love Miss Bethie to death." Cha-ching!

We spent all of spring together, including Easter and my birthday. They were very romantic affairs. Of course, I use the term "affair" quite loosely, because while we had many physical encounters, we never did the deed, which probably should have been another indicator.

But his parents, and his father in particular, did not care for me. How could anyone not care for Miss Bethie? Other than the guys I want to date, I mean. Well, basically, his dad had 2 concerns. First, and foremost, was the religious debate. His dad thought he should date only Catholic girls. His dad was devote. And, as a side note, creeped my friends and I out because he looked like Hannibal Lecture from Silence of the Lambs, but didn't have the charm, intellect or charisma.
Also, he thought I was distracting J.G. from everything else. Soccer. School. Church. You name it, I was hampering it.

But J.G., and his brothers, and I think his mom, really liked me. And J.G. would stick up for me when his dad was being a jerk--which was quite often. It seemed romantic at the time.

J.G.'s birthday was in mid-November, and I (again) went all out, (again) with thoughts of S-E-X on my mind. And yet again, I was shot down, BUT, not before he made a toast to me. He told me that I was the most important person in the world to him. He loved me completely (as complete as it can be with out the sex, I s'pose) and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I make his see what kind of man he really is.

I was teary-eyed and euphoric. How lucky was I to find my soulmate at the age of 20!? I would get my teaching certificate, he would work in business, and we would have beautiful children together. Perfect children. Who would be good soccer players.

So, when the following we, I get the "I am trying to avoid you!" vibe, my heart nearly shattered. He stopped returning calls, was busy all the time and was short when I was able to talk to him.

Finally I was able to get a hold of him. He told me, quite simply, very starkly, that he didn't love me anymore. He didn't know what changed, but it just happened. I suspected it was over a foreign exchange student he was friends with, whom he always said was beautiful. But, now I know that isn't the case.

I was in a funk, and quite depressed. I still would go and visit his brother at his college, where I had several friends. He was a skinny dorky kid, and I always felt motherly to him. I would take him to Denny's and get him carry out after I stuffed him to capacity there. We never talked about J.G. His brother really liked me and I think he was disappointed things didn't work out. (Evidently a theme of mine in the college days).

I ended up dating, and eventually getting engaged to one of the guys at college with J.G.'s brother. I totally thought he was a rebound, be I guess it blossomed from there.

One weekend, when out with the girls, our favorite dance club was closed, very unexpectedly. No biggie. We just wanted to dance to some techno-music and weren't interested in the meat market, so we were happy to go across the street to the gay dance club. We loved it there, anyway, because there was plenty of eye-candy, men who could dance, and great drinks.

Imagine my surprise when I saw J.G. there with a gay friend of his. Their relationship had obviously moved in a different direction. And he had taken up smoking, too!

I felt such closure afterwards, and even grew to feel flattered. He thought I might be the girl to make him go straight! He thought I had that much magnetism! Right?

And I still, to this day, think of his devote father, who wanted J.G. with a Catholic girl. I am sure he would sell his Catholic soul to have a son who was hetero. And J.G.'s youngest brother, who was REALLY cute, was also gay, as fate would have it. I wouldn't be totally surprised, either, to find that his middle brother, whom I used to visit at college, is also gay.

The funny thing is, the man my mom broke her engagement from when she met my dad, turned out to be gay, and both my brothers dated lesbians. Must be in our genes.

Oh, Woe Is Me

No word from Beamer.
And yes, I've been a bit of a basket case over it.
I would have possibly overlooked not hearing from him if it were, indeed, because he had friends in town this weekend.
I've considered calling, but just can't do it. I feel like I have been the hunter rather than the hunted as it stands.
I'm beginning to think it is one of two things...
There really are no more nice single guys out there
or
I am not the good judge of character I thought I was.
Well, I am for all of my friends, but I sure am bad at picking them of for myself.

And I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I feel like I need a break, but then I also feel like, fuck, I am 35. I can't afford to wait!

And I was desperate enough to call the boring guy and leave a message last week. I told him I would call him this week. I am just not sure that I am up for it.

And what was the problem here?

Dear Lord, was it what I confided in him? Did it freak him out? And why did it freak him out? Do I or do I not tell any other guy I may become intimate with? When do I tell him?

And what the hell do I do with all of this Victoria Secret stuff I have in the meantime? And what I am going to do in my exceptionally sexy witch costume for Halloween?

Anyone out there? Hello?

The End of Phil the Gorilla

Phildo was growing more peevish with me, and since I turned down having sex with him, there was little going on physically. I would try to initiate, but it was like he was doing a chore. My self-esteem was sinking lower every day, and yet, I was always trying to find what I needed to do to hang on to him.

And Christmas was around the corner. Nothing makes me happier than when I find a special gift for someone I care about, and unfortunately, I did care about Phildo. I was constantly thinking about what would make him happy.

Also at this time, I had bought the special boxed set of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I also had the Harry Potter movie. Phildo was a HUGE LOTR fan, and he also wanted to watch Harry Potter. I brought them both over to his place, but we didn't get around to watching them.

My company party for my evening job was around the corner, and Phildo told me he would go with me. My planning had begun! THIS was to be our night to have sex! After the holiday cheer, open bar and dance music and made us all aglow, he wouldn't be able to turn me down!

I had a killer dress. Brown wrap dress, VERY low cut and looked HOT on me. I had tall brown boots (stretchers, because my calves are too damn thick to fit into normal boots...but that is a carry over from show shopping this weekend, and isn't important for this story.) And a sexy, sassy, saucy bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret. I was ready.

And in the midst of shopping for all of this, I had decided the perfect gift for Phildo--the woodworker who liked antiques. I got on eBay and found an antique tool set. I was psyched! He would love it and know that I put a lot of thought and heart into this!

Oh, I shouldn't say love. Do you want to know why? If not, skip this paragraph--it may have TMI for some of you...
One time he was performing some oral stimulation on me, and nearing the climax I said, in a sultry purr, "I love the way that feels!"
He stopped, looked at me, and told me not to use that word.

Yeah, can't you totally understand why I was so smitten? Sheesh.

Anyway, I was looking forward to the Christmas party, and to giving him such a thoughtful gift.

The weekend before the party, hanging out at his house, AGAIN, I suggested that we watch Harry Potter. He watched it without me, even though the plan was to watch it together.

We started watching LOTR, and I think I fell asleep on the couch before it was over. He wanted to keep it a little longer to watch all the special features.

And then, the weekend of the party came. I was PUMPED!

I exfoliated, polished, whitened, shaved, powdered, primped, perfumed and broke out my expensive special-occasion make-up that I bought when I had my make up professionally done. I was looking hot, feeling sexy, and anxious to get the evening started!

I showed up at his place, and he was wearing a suit I had helped him pick out a couple of month prior (you should have seen how he freaked when the sales girl referred to me as his wife! To be fair, we had only been dating a couple of weeks at that point, but still...) I told him he looked handsome, and he told me he knew that. I got nothing...as usual.

The whole night he was edgy and obviously uncomfortable. Thank God for the open bar. Just because he would get me drinks without asking, my co-workers thought he was great.

Finally, he actually commented on wanting to leave. I was naively thinking he couldn't wait to get me home, but on the car ride home, I finally caught the true vibe.

He was very quiet, and when I asked him if he had an okay time, he snapped at me that he is agoraphobic and hates to go out (I think he meant if his friends weren't involved, but maybe not.) Considering his profile had said how much he likes to go out and do new things, I thought, huh...another fib in the profile. I knew he was a homebody, but he made this sound as though he had a diagnosis.

I pull into the driveway, and he almost runs out of there, and I told him he was being a jerk.
He asked what I meant, and I spelled it out for him. I was all dolled up, and he didn't so much as try to give me a good night kiss. He sighed and leaned over and I pulled away. "If it is a chore to you, just forget it."

He then sat his ample ass back down in the car, and proceeded to tell me he wasn't attracted to me on many levels. He hated my politics, he thinks I don't know a woman's place, and I was heavier than what he finds attractive, which, by the way, may be true, but I guarantee on a height/weight proportionate scale, I was closer to my healthy weight than he was.

Still, he didn't want to call it totally off. I had some good qualities.

I told him I wanted my movies back. He went to get them, but then gave me his puppy dog look and asked me if he could keep LOTR a little bit longer because he still hadn't made it through the special features.

The scary part, I said okay.

A day or 2 later I went to his place to pick up my DVD. He had said we could talk then. But, basically, it was just the rehash of not being interested in me. I told him he was sure the hell interested when we went camping and at the Halloween party.
"Well, that is another problem. I've been hitting the sauce too hard."

Great, so a guy has to be drunk in order to be attracted to me.

I told him he has been leading me on over the last few months, and I basically got a one shoulder shrug. I didn't even get the effort of two shoulders.

But STILL he is telling me he doesn't want to completely end things. I had a feeling, though, that he wanted to, but wasn't man enough to admit it to my face.
I told him that I had a Christmas present that I couldn't return, so when could I bring it by?
We'll get together over the weekend, or something.
My brother was getting married that week, and I was going to have my niece and nephew for the weekend so that brother and sister-in-law could have a honeymoon (and conceive my beautiful niece, as things would turn out).

One day after school I decided to just drop off his gift by the door. But knowing what an idiot he was, I wanted to make sure he saw it. Before taking my niece and nephew out to see Christmas lights, I called Phildo to make sure he saw the gift.

Sure enough, he has seen it, but thought it was trash. The shocker, though, was that he thought he was talking to his sister! Just kill me now!

He opened the gift and asked when he could see me to give me mine. Huh???

I explained that I had the kids for the weekend, and I was on my out for pizza and Christmas light gazing, but that he was more than welcome to join us--knowing he didn't want anything to do with my family even when things weren't strained. He declined, but, yes, he will call so we can get together.

Needless to say, I never heard from him again.

But I lost my pride and sent him a scathing e-mail telling him what I thought about him and that it sucked that I had close to $100 worth of alcohol at his place because he had to opportunity to have me take it home that last confrontation at his house. I let him know that I know between having no balls, and that he wanted to keep my DVD a little longer, he was just stringing me along.

Again, no reply, but I felt better.

I saw him at Blockbuster months later, and my brother ran into him, too. He ducked and hid from sight, like the coward that he is. I think most guys I have dated, except for the one I ran into at a gay bar after he came out, (another story for another time), had enough character to be able to at least say "hi".

So, that is the story of Phildo.

As a sidenote--I never told him of my attack--because he was average at best and probably wouldn't have noticed a tighter than normal fit. And that is the truth.

*I didn't take the time to proofread this too carefully, so please excuse any typos or misspelled words!

Phil the Gorilla, Part 2

He felt the need to tell me how much he knew about sex, but I sure couldn't tell by his actions. Things progressed very slowly, which was fine, but I also felt like he wasn't particularly attracted to me. But there was another thing I noticed, too. We never went anywhere. We went to a nice restaurant once, when I took him out for his birthday. A couple of times we went to a local sports bar to meet his friends, and one time we went to the race track with his family. Never did he want to spend time with my friends or family (although he knew my dad and oldest brother and thought they were great. After the end of our relationship, I found they did not feel the same and were hoping things would end between us.)

And he really thought he was a good looking guy. He would always tell me how cute he was and that he could have been a leading man in Hollywood and I was lucky to have such a catch.

Now you tell me, is this the next George Clooney? Ed Harris? Johnny Depp?



I mean, he isn't bad looking, but he used to say stuff like, "I'm too cute to go to jail!" and "Do you tell your friends what a handsome guy you have?"

Our dates, though, mainly consisted of hanging out at his house and either watching movies, or helping him with one of his household projects, such as tearing up his kitchen floor or watching him make a workbench. I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed to be seen with me, or if he was just that cheap.

It was at this time I realized that the only compliment ever paid to me by Phildo was that he could never tell when I had PMS or didn't, because I never got overly emotional, mean, or anything else. I mean, as a woman that is a good compliment, but really...hearing I look nice would be nice. Especially since I would compliment him.

He was shocked when the topic of politics came up, and I said I was a democrat. The look on his face was like I had slapped him. Everyone in his circle were devote republicans, except for the wife of one of his friends--and they all treated her like dirt--but she held her own beautifully.

So, I shouldn't have been surprised when one night at his house, as I was sitting on the sofa watching the Matrix 2, minding my own business when 3 of his friends stood over me shouting and point and cursing about democrats, that Phildo didn't come to my rescue. I was in shock. I felt threatened, even though intellectually I knew I was not in harm's way. Later he was all, "They were drunk! It is no big deal!"

We had sort of progressed in the physical sense, in that we would, ummm...explore oral pleasures. But after a few weeks of that, and the first time he took me to his bedroom for this act, I made an assumption things were going to go further. I asked if he had any protection. He said, "no" in a very cold tone. I felt uncomfortable and didn't mention that I had some in my purse.

After we had had our fun, he turned away from me and crossed his arms on his chest again. I snuggled up behind him to spoon. He pulled away and said, "God! Now my ass is all wet!" And went to the bathroom. Charming. And believe me, I could not have gotten him THAT wet, even if I dumped the glass of water on the night stand on him, which in hind sight, I wish I would have done.

He threw a big Halloween party, as he did every year. At this point, I noticed that he was drinking more and more. Not that he was drunk, but he would definitely be tipsy more often than necessary. The night of the party he drank quite a bit. In his drunkenness, he was feeling amorous. He wanted me to kick his friends out of the house. Now, admittedly, I wanted to do just that, however, I was not about to kick anyone from his house when I was already a bit of a pariah. He pouted. I left around 2:30am, and he was still trying to get me to get people to leave, but they were also intoxicated, and there was no way I would have wanted any of them to drive in their conditions.

Still, I continued to date him, and was euphoric when he asked me to go on the annual camping trip that he and his buddies and siblings went on every year. Unfortunately, he always felt the need to tell me the best time camping was the year that only he and his fiance and his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend went there together. The fiance was awesome--he had managed to brainwash her to be a republican. She even read Rush Limbaugh's books, and couldn't understand why I wasn't interested in reading it. Of course, he wasn't willing to read Hilary's book for me.

By I digress...

The camping trip was the weekend of Thanksgiving. We would leave Friday morning and comeback Sunday. We had food, alcohol, and I had a three sets of cami/boy short ensembles ready to look cute, yet as though I had nothing more than more than sleeping on my mind.

He drank a lot, he took up smoking, but tried to hide it. As if I couldn't smell it, or taste it when we kissed. When I finally busted him, he copped an attitude on me. When it was time to sleep, in a room with 5 other couples, he was frisky. In our sleeping bag, he started putting the moves on me. I think this was when he decided to have sex. He was shocked when I said our first time was not going to be in a sleep bag, with all of his buddies around, and trying to be sneaky and quiet. He just didn't get it.
Figuratively, and literally.

And he was ornery as a drunk. He was even annoying his friends. And he became even more arrogant. His sisters were apologetic to me. Then the night came, and he was frisky. Even though I had gone to bed an hour before hand because I was so tired. After enough prodding, though, by juices were flowing, but then he decided he was too tired and turned away.

And still, things got worse.

Phil the Gorilla, Part 1

So, some time ago I said I would share some of my (horrific/funny/ridiculous) dating stories here, and I have since not gotten around to it. I also have student stories that will make you weep, make you laugh, whatever.

Today's subject, though, is Phil the Gorilla, AKA Phildo. (For my friends from the Lou, Phil the Gorilla has meaning, if not, well, then it doesn't.) The first guy I dated for any length of time that I met online.

Phildo was not good looking, although something about his deep brown eyes really had me. In his ad, he described himself as athleticly built and his first e-mail to me went a little something like this...or, actually, exactly like this, as I copied and pasted it here.

Hi. I was home on my lunch break and saw your ad. Sounds like may have some things in common. My ad is attached so see what you think. Sorry no picture. My computer is a dinosaur and doesn't send picture in the format they require. Respond and I will be able to send one via email. You won't be dissapointed that is unless you don't like cute brown eyed brown haired well built, intelligent, funny men. Looking forward to hearing from you.

I guess you could say he had an athletic build, if your idea of athletic build is that of a bowler or a dart thrower, who has a nice, round beer belly. Intelligent--in so far as he could give me direct quotes from Rush Limbaugh and George W. Funny--well, he always had a smirk, but I don't recall him as being particularly funny. Nothing really stands out.

Okay, as I said, this was the first online boyfriend, so I was naive. I had had a myriad of bad dates, including a guy who pulled me into an alley and tried to feel me up, and another that to this day sends me mean e-mails because I was not interested. Phildo was a dreamboat in comparison, and my self-esteem was pretty piss-poor.

We went on our first date, where we met for drinks at a pub. He was dressed fairly nicely, and was nice enough, although his body language--sitting back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest (emphasizing the rotund belly) seemed a little stand-offish, but I could tell he was shier than me, so no worries.

He e-mailed me the next day and asked if I wanted to go to a Cardinals game with his brother and his wife and his sister and her husband that Friday. It was a little startling that he would make our second date a family affair, but what the hell? That must just mean he understands what a great girl I am and couldn't wait to show me off, right? Sure!

His brother was great and I really liked everyone. It was funny, though, because as soon as he went to the bathroom, his sister turned to me and said, "So, how did you and Phildo meet, anyway?"

Okay, I wasn't sure if he wanted his family to know how we met, after all, my family STILL doesn't know that I do the online thing. Fortunately we lived, literally, 2 miles from one another. I just said, "We've seen each other around." Good enough.

He was geeky and awkward, and it wasn't until the 4th date he FINALLY kissed me. I thought it was sweet and meant he wasn't a player. He did do a few inconsiderate things. He tentatively had made plans with me one weekend. A friend called and wanted to get together, and I told her if Phildo decided not to do anything, I would let her know. I never heard from him. I finally called him, in a rage. He was in a dark mood and just didn't feel like calling. After I calmed down and explained that I was waiting to hear so I could let my friend know what was going on, he was apologetic.

My brothers told me to dump him. But they are my overprotective big brothers--I expected them to say that.

Phildo and I started seeing each other fairly regularly. He was so close by that it was easy just to go there and hang out. Which was nice. He was a good cook who didn't particularly care for football. I was in grad school and working a second job and loved football. On Sundays he would make dinner and I would do school work while the Rams were on. After dinner, we would spoon on the sofa. It seemed like domestic bliss. He was a great woodworker, and made his own mantle for the fireplace, restored antiques, and was in the midst of building a sleigh bed. I was pre-nesting...imagining how wonderful it would be when we would be working in the yard on a Sunday, or fixing a nursery. Whatever.

He felt the need to tell me how much he knew about sex, but I sure couldn't tell by his actions. Things progressed very slowly, which was fine, but I also felt like he wasn't particularly attracted to me.

Raccoon Eyes

I am going through another neurotic phase--mostly, but certainly not totally, PMS induced.
I asked the science teacher when we are starting our period, and she said Monday. (Let me explain--she and I always start within a day of one another. I am not on the pill, not am I sexually active, as everyone here is well aware, so I don't have any reason to pay that close of attention to when I am ready to start. The science teacher, on the other hand, is both on the pill and sexually active, thus, she knows to the minute when to expect her period--and if it is more than an hour late, she become more neurotic than me! Even though her boyfriend has had a vasectomy!)

Anyway, that makes me feel better about my bloating, break out and mood.

Beamer hasn't called this week, even after telling me we would talk early in the week. I believe this weekend he has friends in from out of town. I knew he would be busy with that. I know I won't hear from him this weekend. I was fine with all of this. Seriously. I wanted to hear from him all week, but it didn't gnaw at me like it has in the past. I like him, want to date him, but I can't deal with the back and forth.

I was on my computer--something new--with Bernie Mac reruns on in the background.

Bernie Mac made me cry. Yes--the cock-eyed goofball (I mean that in a good way) did an episode where the wife starts nesting and wanting a baby. He doesn't want to, and the shows unwinds from there.

I understood the wife's grief. I have also stuck a pillow up my shirt to see how I would look pregnant (not recently, but still...)

I felt like--Damn--I am never going to get married. I am never going to have kids f my own. I will probably never have sex again. Jeff doesn't want me. Even after a blow job that made him dizzy (I know--TMI) and some fun with ice (I know, I know) I don't even get a call or an e-mail or anything.

So, there you have it. Bernie Mac, one of the original Kings of Comedy, has made me a melancholy mess. And now, because of Bernie Mac, I have raccoon eyes and cannot go to bed until my nose unstuffs or else I will wake up tomorrow with a killer sinus headache.

So she huffs, and she puffs...

Every school year, there is a new drug of choice. Sure, things like marijuana and beer are always the best party favors, and more kids will participate in those than anything. Still, there is always a "drug culture" group that wants to play with the big boys.

A few years ago it was Oxycotin that was making the rounds. I found this interesting, because it was the same time that Rush Limbaugh was in rehab for this drug, and all of a sudden it sky-rocketed in use at the middle school. Wasn't he one of the critics saying more kids are having oral sex because of Clinton? Funny...I didn't see a big jump in that, but I digress...

This year, a scant 5 weeks into the year, and we are already having a drug issue. It has been brought to our attention that our students are now "Huffing". The staff has had to hide things like, dust cleaner on computers, room deodorizer, and there is a ban on aerosol deodorant and hairspray in the gym locker room. If you aren't aware, huffing is some bad, bad stuff, and often there are deaths related to it. It is far more dangerous than the Oxycotin, although not nearly as addictive.

So, the other day a parent storms into the office and tells the principal that her daughter told us this was going on in the girl's bathroom and wanted him to sign a form stating that he was aware of it.

He wasn't aware of it.

She called him a potential murderer. She was going to go to the newspaper, local news stations, and her attorney (though that I totally don't understand) and tell them about how unsafe our school was, and that our [wonderful] principal didn't care.

The principal, who is a former police officer, told her that legally, she has to tell us who is doing this, since it is a crime. She wouldn't tell. The story goes, her daughter saw it going on in the bathroom and went home and told her mom, but, from the best any of us can tell, not any teachers or administrators.

Our resource office called the house to compel them to tell names.

She was simple told to stop harassing the family, and they hung up on her.

The day after this happened, the principal didn't divulge names, but told us about it and asked that we watch the bathrooms more closely and that we don't send students, particularly female students who could be involved, to the bathroom during class.

And so that is what we started doing. This was on the heels of an issue I was having with a student who I know, but can't prove, uses. This student and a group of unsavories (including a kid who was kicked out of summer school because he had COCAINE!!!) were lurking around the girls' bathroom before school even started. I went to "wash my hands" and there is a boy in there! His dad is running for police chief and used to be a DARE officer. Nice guy--no idea what he son has been up to, though. I tell this clown to get out of there, and the girl says, "Boys come in here all the time! We go in their bathroom, too!" Makes me think she has been huffing before the day ever started.

So, later in the day, a student asks the science teacher to use the bathroom. She is hesitant, but lets her go. After a few minutes, she is thinking this is taking too long, and checks the bathroom, which is right across her room. The girl is in a stall, unraveling the toilet paper--all seems normal. Until the girl gets back to class, all giggly, and her friends are all saying, "Oh, my, God! Look at your eyes!" The science teacher asks the girl to come out into the hall and to bring her purse, which she had in the bathroom. The student asks if she is going to be searched, and the teacher told her no, but did ask the girl if she minded holding her purse open so that the teacher can just peak in there. She went on to explain that there has been a complaint about girls huffing in the bathroom, and by checking the purse, she is just going to be able to stand up for the student and say she isn't doing that.

The girl giggles and proceeds to tell the teacher that it was HER mom who was at school throwing the hissy fit. Her purse is cleared, but there is still the feeling of something not being right. Immediately after class, the science teacher checks all of the stalls and finds nothing, and the girl uses her cellphone to call her mom, who comes up to school, throws another hissy fit and yanks her daughter from school for the rest of the day. I went back and check the trash can in the bathroom, and even pulled out the bag with no luck, but am still not convinced.

This girl's opinion? The student is one of the users. She realized that she smelled of her chemical of choice, and tells her mom that she was in the bathroom when other girls were doing this, so she has an alibi for the smell.

Cynical, you may say, but then, explain to me why when this girl went into math class, she reeked of deodorant. It was 4th hour, and she hadn't had gym yet.

Seriously, we have some great kids. They just don't give me anything scary, weird, funny or thought provoking to blog about!

Oh, and my bathroom girl was called out of my class today and busted for cigarettes and for shoving the girl she wrongfully thinks ratted her out.

My eyes were already red and puffy...

From watching the Emmy's tribute to the people who have passed away the past year, when I read the post my dear friend, Darren made on my post about a wedding full of weekends.

Is he dreamy, or what?

Oh, and he TOTALLY ROCKS!!! :)

Weekend full of weddings

Beamer called. He was on his way from a wedding at Busch Stadium (where the groom and groomsmen wore Cardinal red jerseys, the bride wore a white jersey and the bridesmaids wore pink jerseys) to the reception. He has another wedding tomorrow. He'll call me during the week.

Okay, I know he is busy, and I am totally cool with that. But, it seems to me, if he liked me as much as he acts like he does when we are together, wouldn't he have called me during the week?

Or is this just one of those cases where the guy's perspective and the girl's perspective are totally different?

Careful what you wish for...

Yesterday was pay day, and I was elated to see that I have accrued 78 sick days. I am a healthy girl, and most of the days I have used were when my dad had is heart surgery.

Still, I've been eating a lot of crap and often. It is a normal thing I go through when the school year begins, but it is frustrating, nonetheless. Especially when I am dating someone whom I hope to get nekkid with soon (although since I haven't heard from him, that may be dust in the wind, too.)

So, I was joking yesterday about using some of my sick days. I also said that I need to get a stomach virus, because since I have been eating so much, my stomach has stretched out and I never feel full unless I gorge myself.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning, and ran to the bathroom. I had one of my migraines, chalked it up to that (or chucked it up, as the case may be), and decided I would sleep an extra half hour and go to school.

Then the second wave hit me. It was accompanied by chills, cold sweats, and the feeling I wasn't going to be able to make it to school--despite really needing to be there to get my gradebook and other things for the weekend.

After the third spell, I called the sub hotline, left my pathetic message and went back to bed until 6:30. At 6:30, I called the science teacher, told her what I needed my sub to do, and slept until 9:30, decided I needed more sleep, and stayed with the covers over my head (some very smelly covers--the sweats were horrendous) and finally crawled out of my darkened room at 11:30.

I have managed to keep some soup down, then wore myself out by wrapping my niece's birthday presents. I am hoping to be back to my old self tomorrow and enjoy the look on her face when she opens presents! He is a picture of her on her actual birthday enjoying some cake.



One of my inconsiderate male friends who doesn't understand what it is like for a woman who is going through body issues, (Hi,Mark) said that it reminded him of me eating cake.

I would never waste that much icing.

Can I be anxious yet?

I called Beamer around 7:50 and wasn't surprised when he didn't answer. I left a message and was hoping to hear back. It is now 10:15, and nary a word.
Damn--and I just bought a sexy bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret!

Pssst...Peggels, and anyone else...

Remember you were going to remind me if I started flipping that I said I wasn't going to do anymore flipping?

Well...I know that tonight is Beamer's bowling night, but I am disappointed that I haven't heard from him this week.

Can I call him tomorrow? Just wondering.

The return of IM-Guy...

He's baaaaaack!
I seriously hadn't seen him in so long, I assumed that he blocked me from IM.
I think he was shocked I wasn't too responsive, but I was having a conversation with Bobbert. (Hi, Rob!)

While IM-Guy was really great about talking about wanting a relationship and talking about a physical relationship, Beamer never talks about it, but just moves ahead with it.

Beamer and I are not an established couple at this point, and I think after the fiance dumping him just scant months before the wedding, he is gun shy, so I am not about to totally dismiss IM-Guy, but he is going to have to work it if he wants a relationship...of even to make out like a couple of teenagers again.

But he is soooooo outta here if Beamer gives me the word! :)

I am soooooo glad...

That I got to school at 6:30 this morning to prepare for a 7:00 meeting. The parent didn't show. Oh yeah, and this was the IEP I spent my weekend working on. I have had 3 meetings scheduled over the last 2 days, and all have either been cancelled or no-shows. OY!

On another note--6 girls who were in 8th grade last year started the school year off pregnant. OUCH!

Every day there is some loud-mouthed girl I hear in the hallway using language more appropriate for a Scorsese film. Turns out it is our Dooney & Bourke purse carrying girl (which is really unheard of in my rural district). Just shows, money does NOT automatically equal class. (If you don't believe me, watch just one episode of "Being Bobby Brown." And one episode is probably about all you can take.)

For my WW friends...

If you haven't checked out the blog She Just Walks Around With It, the writers latest posts may really strike a chord with a few of you.

I've been having some body issues again, because it is what I do--especially when things are going well with other facets of my life--and these recent posts really hit home on many levels.

Nothin' but love for you ladies! :)

Just for the record...

Samantha's IEP was done around 9:30 last night. I did not work on Jamie's because I decided I have 3 more days for his, and I had school work I wanted to do for the next couple of days to be ahead of the game there.


And I STILL need to figure out how to get my picture posted here! I am such a moron!

I should not have had the wine with dinner...

But still...I WILL get my IEPs written tonight.
Seriously.
And I am not shopping for a new dresser at Target.com.

I am going to wait and go to the store and see it in person.

I AM working on my *IEPs!!!

I am NOT watching the Rams get toasted by the 49ers.
I am NOT looking at Beamers pics and profiles and smiling because he hasn't been active since we started talking.
I am NOT spending too much money at Victoria's Secret (because I haven't hit the send button yet).
I am writing the 2 IEPs that I have to get done this week so that I can stick my tongue out at the director.

Well, I mean, I am GOING to write them after the football fiasco (ALL of my teams lost or are losing this weekend! And by my teams, I mean 2 I have always supported, and Jeff's team, which I always root for, but now feel strangely tied to) and my steak dinner my folks are making.

Seriously. Check back here at 10:30 tonight, and they will be done! At least Samantha's will be.



*IEP stands for Individual Education Plan, which all special education students have, and they are about 20 pages long, and they are what were the bane of my existence last school year.

The Details

I met Beamer in Clayton, which has little meaning to most of you, but it is an upscale area with a lot of businesses and expensive housing. It is a yuppie haven, and it is where he works. In fact, based on the bar he was at when I got there, and other information I have gathered, the boy is, in fact, a yuppie. But that is okay! Darren and James, two of my favorite people ever (hi, guys!) are Yuppies! (Don't even deny it!) I am okay with that, and, as it turns out, he is a yuppie with a heart.

So, I was to call him when I got into Clayton so we could figure out where to meet. I parked my car, and called, and he was having drinks at a yuppie bar with some co-workers/friends. I freaked. I was not prepared to meet friends yet! He asked where I parked, and I found out I was about 4 blocks away. He suggested to park closer, and meet him at the bar. I drove around for 15-20 minutes. There was no closer parking, so I ended up almost exactly where I was before and walked the 4-5 blocks in my strappy high heeled sandals. So much for my baby-soft feet. By time I finally got there, his friends were gone (whew!) I had wanted to sit for a bit and have a drink, but instead, he gave me a big hug (good), told me it was good to see me (very good) then took my hand and started walking to the fair (OY! the agony of de feet!)

While waiting for me, two of his buddies called to see what he was doing. One was his cousin and the other a fraternity brother he is still very close to.

He was sweet and held my hand and really tried to get into the art. Some of it I think he liked, although he is a self-professed art ignoramus. We hadn't gone too far and we ran into his cousin, the one who had called. We talked for quite a bit, and at this time, they were talking about various things they had planned, such as the many Mizzou games they were going to (they have season tickets), a bachelor party for another cousin and "limo night" from the limo he rented for the wedding that didn't happen--the limo company wouldn't refund the money, but said they could use it some other night, so he and the boys are having a night out. (I am thinking I could make it worth his time to take me out in the limo, but whatever.) ;)
When discussing the bachelor party, Beamer mentioned that one of his co-worker's nieces dances on the east side (meaning East St. Louis, where all the topless bars and strip clubs are). Then both go into this innocent little boy act of, "Not that I know what goes on there. It is shameful to imagine having a bachelor party there!" (Even though his wedding was called off, Beamer still had his bachelor party in Miami, as planned. I don't want to think about what that night entailed, although he has told me he hasn't had any form of sex since the fiance left him, so I guess he didn't get too wild out there).

We said goodbye to them, and ran into several other people that he knows. I was beginning to feel like I have no friends, when we ran into Kerri and Marty. Kerri is my friend who knows the art teacher and broke the news to me that he had gotten married over the summer. Beamer was sweet and charming and friendly. I know Kerri was glad to see me out with someone else--especially a nice guy who treats me well, and, at least so far, is stable and normal.

We stopped and had sushi, which was my first time ever having it. He was really sweet, picking out something he thought I would like, and showing me how to use the chopsticks (I finally got a fork) and how to mix the wasabi and soy sauce. It was cute. Sitting right behind me was a local radio personality who is arrogant and just a big blowhard. He was being loud and spouting off his political ideas, being loud enough that we couldn't have a conversation. The DJ has some conservative views and was saying some things about the hurricane victims that I totally found out of line. With Beamer being a yuppie, I thought he may have some of the same view points. Instead, he said what an idiot the DJ was and we spent the rest of dinner rolling our eyes and giggling about what the idiot said. And when the DJ made a comment how republicans work harder for their money and want to protect it, Beamer got offended for me--who works her ass of, putting in way more than 40 hours a week for my kiddos, has to work a second job, and still makes a fraction of what the idiot DJ, who works 3 and a half hours for his show, gets. Awwww...

After dinner, we walked around the fair some more, ran into the cousin again. He was at a jewelry booth letting his wife go nuts there and egging her on to buy more. He would be talking to us, turn over his shoulder, "Yeah, honey, I really liked that one. I think you should get three rings and stack them. The necklace looks great on you..."

A little further along the way we went to this booth, they had graphite carvings that could be used as pencils. They were interesting, if not impractical. We walked away and Beamer said, "Well, now I know what I am getting you for Christmas." Christmas?!?! Wow. I was excited, but also a little shocked. He plans on keeping me around until then, I guess. Smart boy, huh?

We did some more walking, and my feet were absolutely killing me by this point, and we were holding hands, and he was nuzzling me and such. We then run into one of his best friends. The other one who had called him, as a matter of fact. He is there with his beautiful new girlfriend who is thin with big boobs, expensive clothes and a distinct aire about her. Shortly after bumping into us, she continued walking to catch up with friends while her date stayed back with us. I am sure that was the reason his buddy called him--trying to get Beamer to meet his girlfriend's friends. They weren't given a second look by Beamer. Ha. Again, more talk of up coming plans. Beamer has a social calendar that would rival the President's, I think.

After the buddy went his own way, Beamer told me he had interacted with his buddy's date on Match sometime ago, but they never actually met. He didn't seem to taken with her in personal, although she was gorgeous, I have to say. I felt pretty confident after hearing this.

After awhile, he asked if I was still up for going back to his place for drinks. Yup. He took me to my car and I followed him.

So, on the way to his place, we stopped at the store and got daiquiri mix, rum and ice. In the parking lot of the store, he asked if I recognized the store from the news. I did not. He said, "This is where they caught the Southside Rapist."
Then he got a look on his face of, "Holy crap! I just said that to a girl who was sexually assaulted!" I smiled and said, "No, I don't recognize it from that, but the whole city gave a sigh of relief when he was caught."

After we left the store, I turned up my radio; the radio station is playing 80s music all weekend. He called me on my cell, and I missed it because I was singing along to the likes of A-Ha and Big Country. He left a message that he just wanted me to know that he was glad I was going to his place, he was hoping to talk the last few miles to his house, but was looking forward to talking when we got to his place, and he just wanted to make sure I was doing alright following him and we would be there shortly. So sweet.

So, we get to his place, and here is what got my sick, sick heart racing...

He excused himself to go brush his teeth. He hadn't brushed them since he had left for work in the morning and really wanted to brush them. {sigh} Good, strong, clean teeth.

He made the drinks--not really good, but let's face it, the daiquiris were just an excuse for both of us. I was asked if I brought my swimsuit, and I answer that I hadn't, because he hadn't mentioned getting in the hottub and I didn't want to be presumptuous. Anytime I am invited to his house, he told me, I she bring my swimsuit. He introduced me to his dog, who was pretty and sweet. We went outside to his deck and he made a fire in his wood burning fireplace outside (even though it was 80 degrees. He was romantic, though.) We talked, he rubbed my shoulders, and this is really all you need to hear. No sex, and he was very much a gentleman, always making sure I was comfortable and so on.

He didn't say when he would call, and that is fine. Now that I have seen just how busy, and popular he is, I understand when he doesn't get around to calling right away. I have a feeling he plans on keeping me around for awhile, and I hope that he does. He has friends coming in town in a couple of weeks, and he has other things going on in the meantime, but I know he will do his best to find some "Miss Bethie Time".

The Really Important News

I hope I didn't come across as callous because I didn't mention my brother. I just sometimes focus on the silly stuff to get through, or forget about the weighty stuff.

Anyway, he doctor, after seeing the sinus MRI was adamant about him having it looked at immediately. So, we were all a little freaked.

He went, and all is okay. He has to go in and see another specialist to decide if they want it removed or not. We were ready for some good news, and luckily we got it. Yippee!!!

So, All's well that ends well!

The Beamer Scoop...

Will be arriving at a later time today--after my WW meeting and the Michigan/Notre Dame game (Go Blue!!!)

But, just to whet the appetite (Although I don't think anyone checks over the weekend anyway)...

He is very nice, and knows more people and has more friends than anyone I know.

I totally don't get the impression he is a lothario.

Queer Eye could help him with the house and maybe the product he puts in his hair, but otherwise he is pretty Metrosexual. He manscapes, for goodness sakes!

He doesn't make a good daquiri, but who cares?

He's kind and gentle and is all about me being happy and feeling good when we are together.

I think we are politically like-minded, at least somewhat, and I am surprised, because I thought that with his money and car and where he works (yuppies central) he would be conservative. (While I can date a conservative, I kid you not, my oldest brother's first questions is always either, "He didn't vote for Bush, did he?" or "He isn't a republican, is he?" I think my family would flip if I brought home a Bushie.)

Oh, and one of his best friends whom we bumped into was with this gorgeous Asian girl. After we parted ways, Beamer said he had met her on Match and they exchanged several e-mails, but they never met. Old neurotic Miss Bethie would have been dying inside, thinking that I don't have her figure or sense of style (or rather, I do, but not the budget for it), but Miss Bethie with Beamer is thinking--"hahaha! He is with ME! He wanted to meet ME!"

I will fill in all the blanks later.

Have a good weekend and down with Notre Dame!

Game over

He called. We are going to the art fair. When I suggested either the art fair or his place for the promised daiquiris, he said the art fair sounded good.
I love the art fair. Truly I do, and they have some good jazz bands playing tomorrow, so that is great, but I am becoming disheartened with him.
He is losing, or has already lost interest.
I hate dating.

On to The Daily Show.

The waiting game...

It is quarter to 10:00. He usually calls around 9:30. NOW I am freaking.
I am not calling him. I swear.

A few parting thoughts...

Before I go to bed, I just want to say a few more things...

My raise went through! I just received notice today. Okay--I am still making significantly less than most people with my education, but still, I am making about $5,000 more this year than I did last. (Of course with gas prices...)

The special ed. director's assistant told her how on the ball I am this year and that I am ahead of the game (and I totally am!) As if that weren't cool enough, the director said that she is glad to hear it, is going to start this year off with a clean slate for me, and is going to back off. I hope she is as good as her word.

I haven't been as witty or funny in the last week's worth of posts. I'll work on it, I promise!

My brother has a doctor's appt. Friday. I am worried, but I also think it will be good. I have a feeling that it is nothing major and we will have good news soon.

There was more, but hell if I can recall at this point. I do have school work that needs my attention, so I guess that is what is on tap for me right now.

My Bosses

My evening job, while I am tired of working it, has some perks. And working for one of the nicest guys in the automotive world is always inspiring.

He employs about 500 people with all of his dealerships and related side businesses. Yet, he sent out a notice this week that for any employee making a donation for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, the company will match it, as will his charitable foundation. If I donated $50.00, $150.00 is sent to the victims.

A cynic may say, "Sure, but you can bet that he is getting a tax write-off and other benefits." Okay--but what he spends is more than what he will save on his taxes. And if every employee donated just $10.00, that would be $5,000.00 from the employees, blooming into $15,000.00. Amazing!

My principal is also is raising money at school through a dance, special days (pay $1.00 and you can wear a hat all day! Perfect for the 8th grade mind set!) We raised $150 today on hats alone. That was over half of our student body! Rock on!

Finally--I can't shake the Dick-Lick AP from last year. I was supposed to have a high school aide to help me out with my kiddos for a class period every other day. I know the aide, and she is phenomenal. I have known her since she was in third grade. Even then, this gifted student who is athletic, pretty and funny (I would have hated her when I was in high school--not really), was very patient with my special needs kids and had a natural ability to explain things to them and help them better understand assignments. My kids are so low this year, I was really looking forward to having an extra person to work with some of them.

Dick-lick is in charge of the mentoring program this year. He decided not to send her to my school once he found out who was going to have her. Real mature.

Mixed Signals...

I like Beamer. I really like him, as evidenced by my confession to him.
Sometimes, I think he really likes me. Others, I think he isn't so sure.

I broke down, was a jellyfish, as usual, and called him, leaving a message on his voicemail. As I was leaving a message, I remembered that it is his bowling night. (He is a very busy boy--he is on a couple of softball teams, 2 fantasy football leagues and bowling.)
He did call back a half hour later, from the bowling alley. He is leaving Saturday morning to go to Columbia. We are going to talk tomorrow night and make plans for Friday night.
Here is what I am unsure about. I knew he was going out of town for the weekend. I assumed (you know what they say happens when you assume) that it was for the entire holiday weekend. But no--He was home Sunday morning. I am more than just a little disappointed that he didn't call me.

On a positive note, anyone who knows me knows I have some serious body image issues, however, my new swimsuit I am hoping to wear for Beamer, looks pretty darn cute on me. Sure, there is a 3 size difference between the tops and the bottoms (sadly, the bottoms are the larger of the two), but it looks good.

So, just for the record, since he said he would call me tomorrow night--probably around 9:30, I am not calling him. I am not calling, I am not calling, I am NOT calling! Seriously. Hold me to that!

Oh, and I think IM-guy might be snubbing me. Not sure, though. Huh. Surprisingly, not too big of a deal.

Random Ramblings

First, please send more thoughts and prayers to Boe and his family. Those from the Weight Watchers board may remember Boe from my ski trip. The brave, handsome boy, whom we all knew was terminal, but still said he felt like the luckiest kid on earth because of the ski trip. He passed away this weekend. I can't think about the candle lighting ceremony without tearing up about his attitude and strength.

My brother has been having what we considered minor health problems--chronic sinus problems. He had an MRI today, and there is a growth in his sinuses. The doctor insisted that he come back this week and have it looked at more closely. He hasn't had any other signs, so let's just hope it is some benign little cyst, or something.

It is a little after 8:00, and no word from Beamer, however, he tends to call later, so I am not freaked--yet. I have a house warming for a co-worker in 3 weeks. I am the only singleton who will be there. If Beamer and I are still dating, would it be too soon to ask him to chaperone me? He lives very close to where the party will be, so I thought I could tell him a couple of hours there, then back to his place for a few more hours.

Too bad we didn't have plans tonight, because I just had my hair cut and some highlights and lowlights put in. It is looking sassy. Of course, I also had my brows waxed, and they are a little pink. Maybe it is just as well. Besides, my hair will get messed up in the humidity of the hot tub, anyway.

IM-guy has fallen off the face of the planet. We haven't talked, chatted, whatever, for days now. Since he returned to St. Louis last Wednesday. I checked his Match profile, and he hadn't been active on it for 5 days, but he did get on it some time late last night, or today. I was about to start checking obituaries. I assumed he was either out of town for the holiday weekend--most likely with a chickee, or out of town on work again. Who knows. I sort of care, but not enough to actually try to call him.

My phone has been on the fritz, and yesterday it died. I am sure it was just the battery, but I have misplaced the charger. And the only way I could get it to charge in my car was if the engine was on. I was able to charge it, luckily, in my mom's car. I cannot be without my cellphone, people!
I went to Cingular, who bought out AT&T, and, after the two 18 year olds bickered over who had to wait on me, they told me they had no batteries.
I mentioned my reception, once so awesome, now sucks.
Yeah, because I have an AT&T phone. I should really buy a Cingular. They are better, anyway.
I want the same phone.
They have a similar phone much better than the crappy one I have now.
I want my ringtone and numbers and messages I have stored.
Sorry, can't do that.
Let's just look.
OH! Wait! You have a Go Phone? You really need a contract. You really should get one.
You really should plan on going back to school and getting your GED.
Sure, I was bitchy, but only because he was such a putz to begin with. I am going to check out Batteries Plus later this week and see what they can do for me, which I hope doesn't include insulting me or being condescending towards me.

There is more I had on my mind today, but now I am tired and I still have a ton of work to do, which, of course, I am willing to overlook should Beamer call. ;)

HOLY SPAM-A-RAMA BATMAN!!!

All of a sudden, am getting SPAM comments on here. I hope my dear friends and regular readers will understand if eventually I go to word verification should this keep up.

I hate SPAM as a meat product, I hate it on my blog. I know this is a public forum, but still, the idea of a SPAMMER posting on here really irks me! This is my communication to those whom I alerted that I have a blog, and those who honestly stumble across it and want to leave a comment.

All righty, where is my step stool? I am ready to get of my soapbox, now.

The Most Boring Man in the World...

is interested in me. We had initially sent each other e-mails close to a year ago, I guess. We used to talk once a week. He talks in a dull monotone about banal topics, like his work schedule, or that since he is older (by 11 years) that he is safe, whatever that is supposed to mean.

For the Sci-Fi geeks out there, he looks like Chris Carter, the creator of the X-Files, whom I always found attractive. But Boring-guy (and his real name almost rhymes with "boring") doesn't appear to be creative, funny, interesting in any other way.

He seems very nice, which is important, but there is a lot to be said about charisma and, as I have always said, a sense of humor.

And as though he knows he is boring you, all of a sudden he barks out a word loudly, as if to jar your from your thoughts and back on to whatever he is saying. I am going to attempt to demonstrated what it is like here...

Boring-guy: Hey ... Miss ... Bethie, ... Boring-guy ... here... ... ...Just ... thought ... I ... would ... call ... and ... see ... what ... you're ... up ... to ... today. ... Not ... much ... going ... on ... here. ... Just ... thought ... maybe ... we ... could ... catch ... up, ... maybe ... find ... a ... time ... where ... we ... could ... meet. Anyway, ... that's ... all ... that ... is ... new ... here. ... Like ... I ... said, ... just ... wanted ... to ... touch ... base ... with ... you ... and ... all.

He is intelligent enough, I guess, but he works in a automotive factory, and I think this could be a result of working on an assembly line.
OR...
Maybe he was always like this, and that is why an assembly line is a good place for him to be!

Which came first...the boring job or the boring man?

Interesting timing...

The week I disclose my deepest, darkest secret to y'all, this story was in our local paper as a 4 part series.

I said initially that some officers were good, others not so much. This explains a lot of that. And why they called it assault rather than rape.

The county officers I dealt with the robbery were much kinder, sympathetic and concerned with my well-being. Interesting.

Anyway, here it is for anyone interested and with a lot of time to read...

What rape? Abused by the system

Oh, and more positive news on Beamer

He hasn't been active on the site where we met since we started talking and dating, and he has hidden his profile.

I mean, okay, I have hidden mine, too, and I am "seeing" IM-guy, as well, so I am not saying I am the exclusive chickadee for him. But still, it is nice to know he isn't still out there looking for more.

The Director of Special Ed...aka...The Screaming Banshee

YESTERDAY...So, the director of special ed, whom, some of you may recall told me the paperwork was an important as the kids, has firmly placed me on her hit list. Whatever.

I took my files from last year's students to the high school, just as I have done the previous 3 years. I left them with the secretaries in a banker's box, clearly marked.

The files got misplaced over the summer. She insists I didn't deliver them. The secretaries remember me coming in over the summer, and the science teacher on my team also remembers me boxing them up.

As it turns out, the last 5 files I had to write I hadn't packed up in the same box. When unpacking my room, I found them, took them to the director's assistant, put them on her desk. E-mailed her to let her know I had put them there. She took them to the high school.

I get a call from director--the day I am dealing with a minor melt-down of my own--reaming me for not bringing those 5 files over. I repeatedly tell her they were placed on the desk. She doesn't come out and call me a liar, but it is certainly implied.

I tell her that while I may have some faults, as all humans do, I am not a liar. I can fess up to my shortcomings and deal with them face-to-face. She goes ballastic about my not taking the paperwork seriously enough. Uh-huh. Well, I don't take it as seriously as I take my kids, but, again, whatever.

TODAY
Director's assistant comes in to talk to me. She told me that the secretaries told her I dropped off files at the high school, and she told the director, AND that she told the director she did have the files on her desk and I was being totally honest about the entire thing.

I am so relieved that the director has been told this by her very trustworthy assistant.

But I am not expecting a phone call apologizing.

Its a shame...

That Beamer has another late night planned, because I looked cute today and my hair was fantastic.
Still, I feel bloated and have cramps and didn't feel like shaving, so there is that.
He sounded very disappointed about not being able to see me tonight, but when he told me what has been going on at work, I was floored and wanted him to get right back at it.

His company is finding temporary housing and new jobs for their employees who were hit by the hurricane. They are getting 3 weeks pay without touching their vacation time. I could tell he was really getting a huge sense of satisfaction, but he also sounded very tired. Made me want to offer to rub his back and shoulders while he kicks back in the hot tub, but I decided I am exhausted, too. Work was as bad as the personal life yesterday. And like my life, it snapped back to pretty okay today.

More on that after a little dinner and some relaxation!