Guess what, guys!

I am kind of sort of dating someone.
I know this comes as a shock to everyone out there, but 'tis true.
He is very open and honest--almost too much so.
Funny, intelligent, and crazy about me.

Last night we had a long talk about a lot of issues that we have to deal with, including kids and dating exclusively.

We will call this new love interest The Professor. Not that I am wearing any shorts like MaryAnn's.

It was late, I only got 4 hours of sleep. I swore while we were talking that I was going to commit what we said, to memory and post it here today, but I don't recall totally.

Professor starts out, "Soooooo...what on your thoughts on us dating exclusively?"

Keep in mind that we have had one date, even though we talk on the phone constantly, and I know he really is into me.

"Well, We met online."
"Uh-huh"
"I always assume that the guys I meet online are talking to at least a dozen other women, and probably dating at least half of them."
Silence
"And I am usually pretty much doing the same, although I am trying to keep my number lower this time around."
"So, you want to date other people?"
"I want to make sure that I am not letting my instant connection with you blind me to other possibilities"
"I'll be honest here. I have had a date since I met with you Friday, and there are a few other ladies I have been seeing once in awhile."
"I figured as much."
"But the thing is, I think the whole time, I would rather be with you."
"Good."
"In fact, I think I need to tell a few of them about you, so they understand that while not exclusive, there is someone I really like, and it isn't them. I hate doing that, though, because I am used to being the dumpee, not the dumper. I'm no good at it."
"I'm not telling you that you have to dump anyone."
"Well, I have stopped communicating with anyone new who contacts me."
"Really? I'm not too interested in meeting new people, either. There are a few I am talking to, but that is enough right now."
"The thing is, I thought dating would be fun and exciting, and it is really good for my ego, because a lot of ladies have contacted me."
"I'm sure."
"But I learned that I am more of a relationship kind of guy."
"Yeah, dating a lot of people is exciting at first, but I like more stability and the emotional and physical intimacy of a relationship."
"Well, I am not going to lie to you, I have a date Friday night."
"I thought you and I were going to have coffee Friday."
"Yeah, after that. Is that okay?"
"Oh, okay. Well, I mean, we have had one date. I don't think we can say we are exclusive."
"But no one else makes me feel like you do. I think about you constantly. In fact, I have a list of the top 10 things I am looking for in a woman, and you fall short on only one of them. I swear! No one else even comes close. Wait a minute. I'll go get it!"
In a counseling session he was told to make this list, I guess as a way to see his wife isn't what he wants or needs. Sure enough, the list describes me pretty damn well. In fact, he even said he wanted someone who is "Spunky", which, as some of you know, was a nickname of mine I made into part of my screen name when I used to be on the Weight Watchers board. I told him that, and he almost fell out of his chair.
The thing I fell short on, breast size, which he had as the last item because he had no other major traits he required. Oh well. If he is that shallow...
We talked more and I explained that there is one guy I have been corresponding with who is currently overseas for another 2 weeks. I don't think it would be right to write him off when we have had some many exchanges. He said he understood.
We talked quite a long time, and around midnight we finally said our goodbyes.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone rang again. He wanted to tell me we could go out Tuesday after all, because his son's practice didn't start until 8:00. I explained that after he canceled, I made an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed. He thought that it was funny that women do that, but anyway. He was a little pouty that we wouldn't see each other until Friday. We tried to come up with other plans, but nothing seemed to work. Again, good byes, we hang up.

Then I called him about 10 minutes later. He answered the phone, "Fine. You can come over and sleep with me!" It was funny.

I told him that while, yes, I am sort of dating other people (but mainly blowing people off), he is my preference. When asked if I want to go out with someone, I push them off to see if he wants to do something.
I termed it as my preference. He said that he was like my default key.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I told him that contrary to what he thinks, I do come with some baggage, but that I would rather discuss it with him face-to-face than over the phone. When I finally tell him about my attack, I want to see his response--see what he is thinking. I think he will deal with it fine, but I need to see his body language and facial expression.

Other topics covered:
He isn't sure about the kid thing. He isn't totally writing it off, and he wants to be up front with me because he would never want to hurt me. That is why he is so brutally honest. He then went on to explain to me that if I were to have my own kids, I wouldn't have the time to do my charity work that he knows I thrive on. He really was spinning it like a master weaver. I just laughed at him. He then told me that he was leaving it in God's hands. I told him that is pretty much went out of God's hands when he had a vasectomy. We laughed about that. I suggested we just see if we are happy together. It may end up that we aren't as well matched as we currently seem. I suggested that if we are still together in 6 months, we re-evaluate where we are and what we want then.

I said I don't want to meet his kids for at least 6 months. He said it could be longer because his daughter is not doing well with the divorce. He is sure the kids will love me once they know me. He slipped in, "What is there NOT to love?" He is so right! :) But we want them to understand I played no hand in their divorce, and also their mom and dad are definitely over.

He told me that his heart is telling him to take this "relationship" quickly and seriously, but he knows he can't do that, either. He keeps telling me it is hard for him not to, but that is why he is dating other women. (I told him he can date whomever, whenever, but really, please, don't report back to me on these dates. He asked if I was bothered by him dating other women, and I assured him it isn't that, so much as it is just an awkward topic.) He let me know that he is not and has no plans to be intimate with any of them, whereas he has already had randy thoughts about me, and hopes to actually experience them sometime, but not before I am ready for that.

He wants to share the articles he has written with me, and maybe even have me read the novel he has started writing.

He thinks about me a lot and misses me all the time.

There are other things that currently escape me. But I just felt very close to him after our conversation yesterday. I trust him in that he is honest with me.

This is far from the perfect relationship I always envisioned, but it sure does have its good points.