The Weight Watcher Police Are After Me!!!

I did not go to my WW meeting Friday, because, quite frankly, with no air conditioner, I think I was in some sort of heat induced coma and set my alarm incorrectly, waking up with 15 minutes to get to the meeting. I could have done it, but I had one of those embarrassing pillow marks on my face, bedhead from walking earlier, sweating and then laying down, and dragon breath. It was not a pretty sight. In fact, the plus side of being single is that I don't have to subject some poor soul whom I care for to that first thing in the morning.

Today in the mail--a postcard from my leader and the receptionist telling me they missed me Friday and want to help me achieve my weight loss goals one step at a time--but I have to want the same thing.

Holy-moly! I think I signed up for a cult!

There is another, different WW cult on one of the message boards, too. Luckily I was kicked out of that cult before I shaved my head and started sacrificing marshmallow chicks.

Two more reasons boys are scummy...

Reason #1:
There is a boy who just moved to my city this week. Knowing he was going to move, he contacted me via online dating site.
We've sent back e-mails and have been talking for a couple of weeks now.
First of, he is the jerk in the previous post I mentioned who makes rude comments about my sports teams and politics.
Still, he called me and I owed him a call. I usually return calls, and was going to go out with him to see what he is like in person.
I called and got his voicemail. Where he ends the message saying, "And if this is Mary, I love you, baby."
I thought, "Hmmmm...I know he is divorced, but I didn't think he had any kids."
I double checked his profile. He doesn't.
I thought some more. Who else would he say he loved and then give the endearment, "baby"?
Sister, mother, cousin. None of it fits.
Methinks the boy left a girlfriend back home and is already playing the field here.

Reason #2:
I received and e-mail from a boy the other day, and I just responded today. He already e-mailed me back and told me a little bit about himself.
He told me that he just started doing the online thing, and has been divorced for 5 months now.
He obviously doesn't remember that he e-mailed me 6 months ago. Now, he was legally separated before the divorce, so I am not bothered that he contacted me before that went through. Really.
But the whole, "I'm new to this!" when he first contacted me the beginning of the new year bothers me.

Why I am scum:
I have a name in my cellphone I can't place. I know I have e-mailed him, but I can't find the e-mails to place who it is. Normally, if it is a guy I have no wish to talk to, I delete it. If it is a guy I don't hear from for 2 weeks, I delete it. Who is this mysterious "Mark" in my phone? Dare I delete it? Or should I wait and see if he calls me?
I can't believe I can't place this guy. I am usually really good about this!

Riddle me this, Batman...

Why do guys write on their online profile that they are a few pounds overweight, and yet mark that they are looking for women who are slim, slender or athletic and toned?

Why are men willing to date women 15 years younger, but only one year older?

Why do these online boys ask questions about how much you still look like your posted pics, and why there is no picture of your full body, when they have one grainy picture on their profile and in it, look as though they may have a double chin, despite saying they have an athletic build?

And don't act like you are disappointed in my appearance when we meet when you obviously have a picture that is at least 5 years old. I look like my pics, thank you very much. No one has ever met me and had to squint to recognize me compared to my picture.

Why do they send you an quip like, "Nice smile" or "I like your picture" and then don't have a picture of their own posted?

And why, oh why, oh why do they make their profile sound like they are looking for a relationship and want to settle down, only to write you they just want a casual thing and are not looking to commit to anyone right now?

Truth in advertising, people!
And don't expect to land a show-pony when you are just a jackass in thoroughbred tack.

More online antics

A boy that I whined about to Peggels and Marie just e-mailed me again.
I am wondering why these boys disappear for long stretches of time then come back.
I went out with him a few times the beginning of the school year. OY
He was cute and smart and funny. I may actually reply.

And this guy sent me a wink. Here is what his profile says:
Who cares its not like you are going to read this or contact me if you dont like what you see in the pic, drop me a line and we can talk about the rest later.

Nice attitude.
And it would possibly work if he looked like Johnny Depp or George Clooney or something. But, guess what...he doesn't.

Saturday Night's Date

I can't discuss.
Don't want to jinx it.
I've said too much already.

Saturday Afternoon's Date

Nice kid. He is too young, but a lot of fun.

Boys who are 24 don't feel the 96 degree heat in the middle of the day. Twenty-four year old boys have boundless energy and tell lots of college drinking stories. Twenty-four year olds don't have a lot of life experience, therefore, you don't have a lot to talk about. But you'll probably laugh a lot. And they might have a quick wit.

He turns 25 next month. Maybe that will make all the difference.

More Stories from the Wonderful World of Online Dating!

You gotta love it when the user name of a guy trying to correspond with you is, "IHaveAllMyLimbs". If that is your selling point, well, maybe you need to try and get a better job, or find a hobby on an interesting topic, SOMETHING to jack up your date-abilty quotient.

I had a gentleman from Indiana send me an e-mail just to say I was cute and had a great profile and won't have any problem finding a great guy, and he wished he lived closer.
I wrote back that he was very sweet to say so, but he is lucky enough to have 3 great kids and doesn't want anymore, and I still want to have kids of my own some day, and wished him luck.
He wrote back telling me if I want kids, I better get started soon.
Charming.

I called another guy tonight. I was lukewarm on him to begin with, but decided I need to keep my mind open. He has been married twice, and "don't know what the problem is. Guess I'm just not meant to be married." He ended our conversation, after telling me to give him a call to arrange a date, by saying, "I ain't a bad looking guy, and I ain't crazy or anything..."
Some of you are going to say he was just being silly and showing a whimsical side. Ummmm...no. He talked like that throughout the 20 minutes we were on the phone. His e-mails are worse.

I also seem to send out the vibe that if you are in need of a green card, I'm your gal. Seriously. I have many gentlemen who do not claim English as their native tongue sending me e-mails.
I am just shallow enough to reply to the hottie.

In "Real-World" dating, I am going out with a "boy" who is 11 years younger than me. I know--there is no way that it will be a love connection, but what the hey?

I am always suspicious of the guy who posts only a fuzzy picture and mentions in his profile and in his e-mail that it is a bad picture and his much better looking in person.

I question it further when I have 9 clear, nice pictures posted and I get questioned about how current they are and which one looks most like me now.

The guys who lie the most about their physical appearance are the ones who question others about their honest on the issue.

Finally, there is the guy I was kind enough to offer to show around town after he was transferred here with the Nation Guard.
Our first phone call was basically him berating me for my sports teams and political leanings.
Then, he left a message this morning laughing that I was at a game where my Cardinals were stomped by a weak team--nevermind the fact they are still 7 and 1/2 games ahead of his Cubs, but whatever.
This one won't work. Tried this sort of relationship before.

That's all I got for now, friends. You know I'll continue to update you as thing develop, or flounder! :)

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday's

I had a lunch date today. Met the 47 year old man at Ruby Tuesday's.

I no longer pretend I know how dates went, unless it was obviously bad, as in Wednesday night's.

But, he was much better looking than I expected. He was nice, crazy about his kids (and wants more) and he and his ex-wife split up very amicably. He adores her 3-year-old twin boys she and her second husband had together.

Before we met, he made mention of a second date. And here is the story behind that...

Yesterday I woke up and my bedroom was absolutely steaming. I am usually cold by nature, so I found it odd. But I assumed that the AC just hadn't kicked in yet. Then I sleepily looked around the place and wondered if Fat Cat, who happens to be the warmest animal I have ever met, and prefers to be hot, was next to me. He has a tendency to curl up against the small of my back or behind my knees. Nope. The Fat Man of Love was nowhere to be seen. Then it slowly sunk in...the AC wasn't working.

So, while I had plans to meet the 47 year old Thursday for lunch, instead I had to sit home and wait for the AC people to take a look. The finally arrived around 4:30. (And did I mention it was 97 and humid yesterday?) The AC shot craps, and the only thing to do was get a new one. Beautiful.

They will be around and install it somewhere between 11:00 and 12:00. Did I mention that Friday's forecast was that is would be hotter than Thursday?

So, he called me today, Friday, and I whined, because I was hot and sticky and tired. I wasn't in the mood to get the bathroom all steamy, thereby making the house steamier and hotter. He told me I would feel better after a bath. I then told him, "Well, okay, but I am NOT styling my hair because there is no way I am going to use that hot hairdryer today. I hope you don't mind curly hair."

At that point he said that just gives a good reason for a second chance.

In person I wasn't so peevish.

And on the way home, broken waterline.

I went back to a steamy hot house, and no water. The joy here never ends!

TRYING to be the bigger person here...

But on the heels of a rough date last night, it ain't easy!

Last night was bad, but over a year ago, I had a date with Mr. Negative.

No matter what I said, he was contrary.

He asked if I wanted kids.
Yes.
How many?
Oh, 2 or 3.
3??? I can't do that. It is an odd number.

Have you ever thought of moving out of St. Louis?
Why I almost moved to Boston!
Boston??? Too cold.

What about you, Mr. Negative? Have you considered moving elsewhere?
Yeah. Florida.
Why did you decide not to?
Too hot.

And so the date went on.
It felt like an eternity.

Today I get an e-mail from the clown--
"arn't you married yet? oh that's right your holding out for the doctor....good luck"

I have so many thing I want to tell this jackass. But neigh. I shall just ignore his rudeness. I will not tell him I am holding out for someone who does NOT find the negative side of everything.
I will not say I am holding out for someone who can type and knows the difference between "your" and "you're" and uses capitals in their writing.

Well, at 11:45 on June 23 I will not. I won't guarantee what I do later. :)

Tonight's Date...

Stank.
I was so psyched.
He was pretentious.
As soon as I showed up, he told me an ex-girlfriend called, and her grandfather passed away, and he had raised her, so she really needed to see him.
He gulped down two Jack and Diet Cokes, and I guzzled my Cosmo.
He took a phone call while I was there.

He was very impressed that he worked on Capital Hill with Senator Danforth. He was very impressed that he is an agent for baseball players. He was very impressed that he drive the top-of-the-line Lexus. He was very impressed that he went to a very ritzy private school.
I dropped the name of the multi-millionaire family I am friends with, and he didn't believe me at first. Showed him on my speed dial.
It impressed him.
I told him I am impressed that they play down their money and use it for good, not pretense. (They went to a ritzier school, too.)

He decided to skip seeing the ex and go to the casino with his cousin. He has the hook-up for free rooms, drinks, food, and promised his cousin he would meet him and give him the hook-up.

Didn't walk me to my car, and left it at "See ya around."
Not if I see him first.

I would be depressed and feeling unattractive if not for one thing...
Cabinet maker called today. He apologized because he doesn't have the time to date with his house burning down and his business being impaired from it, as well.
Still, he told me I am gorgeous, and he hopes that while he doesn't have the time to date, that I will feel free to call him if something fun comes up that I want to do, and he will do the same.

I really think he was sincere. And he is nicer, has more class and thinks I am gorgeous--thereby proving he is smarter, too! :)

And Mark said something hurtful today. :P
Still hope you made it Michigan okay--twit!

The Upside of Men in Their 40s

Lately, most of the men winking and contacting me online are in their 40s. Some as old as 47. As some of you may recall, I was thinking 40 was too old, until I remembered I was 35. (D'OH!)

There was a phase where most of the men contacting me online were much younger, and nothing ever really came to fruition.

Not the case with 40 year olds. They are established, they know what they want, and they are no longer playing the games little boys play. They see you online, they send a note, you reply, and the next e-mail will either give you their number, or ask you for yours.

It could take days, even weeks with the younger boys. It could take than long with the boys my own age!

The other piece of the puzzle--they ask you out after that first phone conversation! There is no waiting game, or checking to see how anxious I am to go out. They talk, they like, they ask out.

Some guy last night, 15 minutes after I sent my number, called. It was almost midnight, but he could see I was still online, so I can forgive that. We talked for 20 minutes, we have a date for tonight.

Here is the kicker--he is good looking, and while he has 3 kids, wants at least 2 more, and he makes over $150,000 a year! (Money is NOT the issue here...the point is that it isn't that this man has nothing going for him and is desperate that makes him come on so strong and sudden. He sounds and looks to be of quality and just doesn't waste time--mine or his.)

I am not counting my chickens before they hatch, or anything, but I do think it is important to note here...a few days ago I was a little down at the lack of response after reposting my profile.

Suddenly, 4 interested guys, 4 dates basically lined up. All in a matter of days.

And the good news for you guys--more dating stories sure to be posted over the next few days! :)

Random Ramblings

No, really, I am going to hurt my mom!

After announcing on Father's Day, to the entire family, except my brother Doug who is perpetually late for family functions, that I gained a pound at my Weight Watcher's weigh-in, and letting me know she is still a size 6, and being overbearing around my niece, and smoking in front of my dad, who said that he has really been craving cigarettes lately (He had quadruple bypass early in the year, and was diagnosed with early emphysema, for those who don't know the back story) and for a myriad of other reasons, I really, REALLY want to rip her arm off and beat her over the head with it. I doubt any jury would convict me!

My defenses are now down...

There is a guy on Match who has been winking and e-mailing me for well over a year. I can't believe he has yet to get the hint.
I decided to wink back.
I used to tell people that if this were a job interview, his persistence would be a good thing.
Evidently, I am holding interviews for the job of being Mr. Right. No one has the resume I want, so I guess I'll just have to train them all on the job and not be so picky on qualifications.
And, many of these applicants think that they don't need to speak English very well. But one is totally hot, so he may make the first cut. :)

Shout outs

First, I have to give a shout out to Mark. He probably won't see this, though. He always forgets my blog address. But whenever I remind him, he asks when I am going to mention him.
Here I am mentioning you, Mark.
We met online. We talked around Thanksgiving, then lost touch. He had just moved to my fair city.
Eventually, he tried contacting me again. We talked. We went on a date.
He wasn't feeling chemistry, so he asked to just be friends. I was cool with that. So, here we are...friends...and he gets a shout-out on my seldom read blog!

Shout out to Bobert, who is the only person I know more inept at dating than I am...and yet he is the "guys perspective" I ask for. Never said I was smart!

Linae--sorry you have a cold! Hope it is better soon! Keep me posted on the wedding details!

If I mention Linae, I HAVE to mention Jolee and Patty. Met all 3 online and along with some other ladies, we all met at Mall of America in November. Had a GREAT time, and all three are as cute as buttons!

Marie and Peggels--met on the same online message board, that I no longer frequent, but would NEVER toss them aside! Unfortunately, Haven't met them yet. So sad.
(How is the job/house search going, Peggels?)

I think Diane reads this, and she is AWESOME! The director of one of the charities I volunteer for. She is my hero--and is younger than me! How does that work???

Not too many of my "real-life" friends come here, because they hear it all in person. And obviously, with the way I bitch about my mom, I never told family members about my blog!

Love y'all!

Why I am an idiot this week...

Well, there are two reasons.
I e-mailed Saccharine, after asking Bobert, who said I should, (see what I mean...we are PATHETIC!) and didn't hear back. I have made an ass of myself over this wiry, Joe-average-at-best, geek way too many times now. Done. Over. Lost his shot.

Also, I keep thinking about this guy I dated towards the beginning of the school last year. I miss him! I really thought he was my soulmate. I compare everyone to him. Which is silly, because I have met many men who were much better--on paper. But The Art Teacher is the guy I want to be with! Someone slap me so hard, I forget who he is! I wish there really was a company like the one in the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" or whatever it was called.
I'd obliterate him and make my life easier. I think. I'm not sure.



I guess that is all I am going to prattle on about for now. I am very tired and am getting up early to get my walk in...then I think it is off to get a pedi and a mani. I REALLY could use the R&R.

Addendum to online dating rules...

I would just like to say...
If you are not interested in dating me after one date, that is fine. My world will not crumble, I will not be reduced to tears, and I will not stalk you and try to convince you that I am the love of your life. Quite frankly, if you don't think I am wonderful, you obviously aren't the guy for me. The guy for me will understand what a fabulous person I am and that I am a great catch. I am not being stuck-up, but Mr. Right should feel that way about me, and it will be more than mutual. And I am funny, smart and kind-hearted with great teeth, hair and nails.

If you are not interested in another date with me, don't tell me you will call. Don't say you had a great time and can't wait to do it again sometime. Don't ask me what my weekend looks like, what my favorite restaurant is or what I like doing on second dates. Maybe you are just trying to get ideas of what to so with some other online girl, but really, it is just giving me the wrong idea.

Feel free to thank me, say "it was nice meeting you" or even a simple "Good luck". If you are a spineless man who can't simply do that, then at least e-mail me the very next day to tell me you are in no way interested in me in any sort of romantic way. I have actually made 3 friends this way--one told me he felt no chemistry, and 2 I basically said the same. We were adults, and I enjoy having them for friends...And one even reads this blog and will attest to the fact, I won't freak out if you aren't interested and tell me. I will get upset if you lead to me to believe you are romantically attracted to me, and then never call or e-mail again, but that is totally different.

Ummmm...I guess that is all I have to say on this subject for now. I am sure more will come to me later...after some other dork-wad does something totally asinine. Probably tomorrow or this weekend.

Rudy and Di: A Cross-Generational Love Story

Rudy is a sweetheart, but, he is old. He has no teeth, and you can see all his ribs. It is work to get him fully nourished. Basically, he has one hoof in the grave. He is a 38 year old pony.

Di is a very pretty, strong, healthy, 12-year-old paint horse. She looks after Rudy and makes sure the other horses don't bully him. She is a guardian angel to Rudy.

Rudy loves Di. When we saddle Di up for a therapy session, poor Rudy is beside himself. He whinnies, he tries to follow up, and he gets worked up and watches her the entire time. He acts like a love-lorne teenager. It is sweet.

We wanted to take Rudy to the other stables where the living is a little easier and he could do therapy rides for the very tiny kids. But who could possibly separate them?

Well, that and the fact that the stable he is resides at now is equipped to deal with disposing of dead horses and ponies, and the other isn't. Sadly, when a pony is 38, that has to be a consideration. Also, the current stable has richer grasses in the pasture, which poor old Rudy really needs.

Isn't it amazing how we think that the animal kingdom is so beneath us, yet these animals show more compassion, warmth, and affection than many humans I meet?

A few rules for online dating

I am not someone who is particularly high maintenance, nor do I have exceptionally high standards of who I will date. I have dated geeky, awkward guys, as well as stud-muffins. I have dated guys who are perpetually broke, and the son of a multi-millionaire. There are boys I thought were average-at-best and then thought they were the cutest things going once I got to know them, and there are hotties who quickly became notties when they showed their true colors.

Still, there are some ground rules for on-line dating that I just want to get off of my chest right here and now...and most of this came after a dud of a date Friday, just FYI--so don't ask about it!

If your fingernails are as long as mine, which I keep well manicured and painted, you really need to invest in clippers.

By calling something a "casual date", I am going to assume that you are going to at least shower before we meet and look presentable. When I meet someone new as a potential date-interest, I shower and shave my legs as part of my preparation, and you are NOT going to see or touch my legs...don't look too scruffy. It worked for George Michael, but he was gorgeous and gay, for goodness sakes. Most men cannot pull it off and not look like they just didn't care how they appeared or what impression they are making. Tuck in your shirt and don't wear a baseball cap. And if you do choose to wear a ball cap, bare in mind how bad your thinning hair is going to look when you take it off in the bistro.

Do not put in your ad that you have an "athletic build" when you have a stomach the size of a classroom globe. Again--I don't mind a little chubby--have dated that before with no problem--but you are just lying when you say that. I don't consider bowling and darts sports, and the "pros" in those so-called sports are hardly what I call athletically built--so if that is your role-model for physique, you may want to rethink that.

For myself, no longer will I accept dates with someone who posts only one picture and in that picture they are wearing sunglasses and a ball cap, because really, I could have had a date with Richard Ramirez and not known it. (He was the very creepy, satanic serial killer known as "The Night Stalker" to those who don't have a very strange fascination with real-life crime cases).

Also, when my first impression is, "This guy is a cynic and I am not interested" I should follow that and run. I do not owe these guys anything, and do not have to go out with all of them to prove that I am really trying to find a good guy.

I am sure there are many things I can add to this, and I am sure I will someday soon, but for now, I am off to watch a romantic comedy and forget how badly my dating life sucks.

Miss Bethie's Consumer Reports

Please feel free to add your own suggestions to my list of things.

I got this idea after buying Diet Coke with Splenda. I am a Diet Coke girl, Pepsi colas give me a headache for some reason.

Anyway, I know many people were excited when Diet Coke decided to put out a version with Splenda. Personally, I love the taste of Diet Coke as it is, but understand some people can't have NutraSweet, and some people just prefer to use a sweetener derived from sugar and not chemicals.

All I am saying is, while the NutraSweet may rot me from the inside, at least I will enjoy my Diet Coke before I expire. That Splenda version was totally vile. I no longer think regular Diet Coke tastes "diety" but this Splenda version tasted fake and horrible, in a way I will never get used to.

My question is, what the heck is Coca Cola Zero??? How is it different from Diet Coke? After the Splenda fiasco, I was afraid to give it a whirl.

If you know me on a more personal level, you know how picky I am about my teeth. It is a borderline fetish with me. I have been singing the praises of Crest White Strips for 2 years now. I used to swear by them as both a whitener and a trick to not snack when playing on the computer.

But, as shocking as this may be, they have been usurped. Yes, folks, I have a new tooth-whitener-love in my life. The Oral-B/Rembrandt strips. They are much more obvious that the Crest brand, but they stay on longer, I don't notice the sensitivity when I wear them that I get with the Crest Premium, it doesn't irritate my gums and it whitens better. Over all, 4 and a half stars out of five. If it didn't look like a mouth guard, and make me sound like I am wearing an orthodontic headgear when I try to talk with it, it would be the full 5.

I received a free Intuition razor the other day in the mail. Normally I use a Venus, but the Intuition intrigued me. Initially I really liked it. It was quicker not having to slather on my shaving cream and it really did moisturizer as I shaved. I liked it lot, but then, I knicked my knee and gave myself two abrasions. You have to press down pretty hard to get the blades above the moisturizing solid, and sometimes I went a little too far with pushing down, because it is difficult to tell when you are feeling the blade and not just the solid. If you are a more talented shaver than I am, it really leaves your legs feeling slick and silky, but for the shaving challenged, it may not be a good choice.

OR...maybe they could put some styptic in with the moisturizing solid! (You saw it here first, folks, if it ever happens, I am getting some money! :) )

Finally, a product that was recommended to me some time ago, Bliss Sleeping Peel Serum. LOVE IT! A bit more pricey than I would like to spend, but really worth it. The only downside, I don't use it in the summer, because I am so fair, and it can make you more sun sensitive. But, I went out with friends last night, and one guy I see maybe once a year always tells me he can't believe I am 35, that I look much younger, and I hear that a lot. I think I would look younger, regardless, but I do think the sleep and peel makes my skin smoother and takes care of minor discolorations. I am glad it is summer break, but I will be glad once summer is over and I can get back on my Sleeping Peel Serum regimen, too!

I know this should make me happy...

Today was my first weigh-in with Weight Watchers meetings. For anyone out there who isn't aware, I had been doing the on-line gig for a while now, but had plateaued, then stopped caring.

After Patty's success, I decided I should try meetings.

I weighed-in last Friday, and was probably not much less than the miniature horse at the stables. It should have really made me jump into this, watch what I eat and log everything.

And I did, that first day...

After that, I ate anything and everything, including a buttered bagel 3 mornings in a row as well as one afternoon of eating an order of curly fries and a strawberry shake as lunch.

I'll be honest, I had PMS, I have been emotional, and I just didn't care.

I was totally dreading stepping on the scale today. Particularly with witnesses!

I went back last night and logged what I could remember, and stopped logging when I used all of my points and all of my flex points. (My WW Peeps who read this know what I am talking about). There was more to log, but I was too depressed by then to continue. Kicking myself hard, and bellyaching on my 3 mile walk this morning that I was going to be up a few pounds on my very first weigh-in.

So, I begrudgingly went to my meeting, and stepped on the scale. Much to my surprise...I was down 2.6 pounds! What the...???

So now, do I continue with my diet of fried fish and loaded baked potatoes, or actually try the WW lifestyle?

I know intellectually what the answer should be. And I am going to really try this week. If I can lose more than 2.5 pounds without really trying, imagine what I may be capable of if I trade-in my nightly bowl of chocolate chip ice cream for a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich!

How the heck did I attract THIS?

This is the profile of a guy who recently sent me a message on a dating site.

My best feature is my a all of me

The feature that captures my attention is a nice ass

In our free time, my ideal match and I would go to the sex shop to buy and try new things

My greatest guilty pleasure is is the feeling i get when i know I'm making a women feel like a women !!!!

The thing that makes me laugh is life and how people think that someone owes them something

My profile is so "girl next door". Here is a snippet:

I am looking for a nice guy to hang out with. I am out of my 20's, and over the long-haired bad boy thing, (actually, was never too much into that, anyway). I like men who can make me laugh, and can also have an interesting conversation.

What the heck part of that made this clown think I may be his type???

And a few months ago I had a similar guy who said he has a vibrator and large supply of batteries. Then added a "Bzzzzzzzzzzz!" into that sentence. Great.


In other dating news...Lawyer had to cancel, but is wanting to call me Sunday so we can talk some more and reschedule. I thought when he said he wanted to talk, that he was the first guy in ages with the backbone to say, "I'm just not interested in you" or, "You are far too good for me!" but when he said he wanted to reschedule, I changed my line of thinking. I am not too good for him.

I thought for sure the police office was interested in me, but I haven't talked to him since Monday. To be fair, he had a busy 2 days off, then had to go back to work after taking his comp time, so he may still be in the running. But, bear in mind, they guy whose house burned down and owns 2 businesses, DID manage to find time to call me.
I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

But now, the real man in my life is wanting some lovin'. So, I going to go rub Fat Cat's tummy.

Sad report

One of the little girls who went on the ski trip I help chaperone, (If you know me and are reading this, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you stumbled upon here, click on the Circle of Friends link and it will shed some light.) passed away this week. I didn't even know she had relapsed.

This is what makes working with these kids so difficult. They won't all survive. Still, I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Please keep Ashley "Georgia Peach Fuzz" and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Thanks, all.

Spoke too soon...

Talked to the lawyer today.
We have a date Friday afternoon.

Date with some other guy Friday night.

Cop calling me tomorrow or sometime this weekend.

Cabinet maker and I have too complex of a schedule for meeting this weekend, but hope to get together next week.

I feel like a hoochie-mama.
But I am having fun with it. Sorta.

Would like to meet Mr. Right, though, and be done with all of these Mr. Right-Nows.

This is all I have this evening. Miss Bethie is tired and focusing on The Daily Show.

Oh, my classroom is FINALLY packed!!!

The Boys...

You asked--if they all fall through, I blame you! ;)

Cabinet maker just called. He is very nice, and we have a lot in common, actually. He was thrilled that he has been able to salvage more items, include an antique table, some Wedgewood plates, a silver platter, family photos (which made me the happiest for him), and his baseball card and stamp collection.

He is always helping people who are down and out, and it has backfired on him a few times, but he still does it. He opened his home several times to people he knew, sometimes not very well, because they had nowhere to go. He only asked that they made an effort to work, and if they couldn't find work, then do some cleaning and yard work while he was at work.

Anyway, he had 2 guys living in his basement, and while they had very little, he has promised them they will get their stuff replaced. As if that isn't nice enough, he has been paying for one of them to stay in a hotel. Can you believe that?

The police officer talks more than me. It is true. He is buff. BUFF, I say. His calves should be cast in bronze. Maybe even gold or platinum. And he is funny, and as noted in the previous post, he likes my laugh.

He is this tough cop, with 2 little dogs. Very good to the dogs and they are sweet. The younger of the two he met when he was taking animal cruelty classes (prevention, not how-to) at the Humane Society. He begged the "boss" there for the dog. She said she would see what she could do. Four days later, he assumed he wasn't getting the dog, when she called and said to come get her. The dog, that is, and not the "boss" at the Humane Society. Since B3 hasn't called, this guy is probably in the lead--but it will be a year or so before I am in good enough shape for the buff bod to see me nekkid. Like Janet Jackson, I promise, I'll be worth the wait. (Yeah, like Ms, Instant-Gratification here would wait for anything!)

Police office was saying to me, "I just don't know why someone wouldn't take care of their body. You only have the one, and if you take care of it, you can live so much longer."

Good philosophy.

Mine is more like this: You only have one life and it is only so long. You may as well enjoy it. Go ahead and have a second helping of mashed potatoes and gravy. Have a sundae for breakfast! Just make sure it has a fruit topping, and you have two important food groups! Life is here to enjoy!

But that aside, he is very nice and polite. Oh, and he took his Sergeant's test today. I hope he did well. We talked last night. He has a ton of stuff to do the next couple of days. He'll call. I'm confidant. Oh, and he calls me Miss America. Of course, he calls his female dog that, too, so I guess I shouldn't really take that as a big sign of any sort.

I have a date set up for Friday night. We'll see. He is a bit of a cynic, but we are totally on the same page politically and socially. We have great conversations and he is very, very well read on politics and history. He is also really excited to meet me. Why wouldn't he be? hahaha

The lawyer is lost in limboland. Whatever. He and my mom have a similar sense of humor, (Again, see earlier post; the one about nixing the digital camera) so it may be just as well. :)

There are a few other prospects, but nothing is really getting me all googley-eyed.

And there you have it.

Nixing the Camera

While Bobert and Marie made me even more excited about digital cameras, there has been a change of heart.

Miss Bethie needs to move. Soon. Miss Bethie is going to go postal and end up on the evening news for matricide. I need to move away from my mother. Not too far away, but far enough that she doesn't visit too often. Far enough that she never has to notice my poor housekeeping skills, nor my inability to cook anything that isn't a microwave dinner or boiled in a bag.

And I feel guilty being this peeved at her. Especially knowing Peggels reads this and lost her mom (I still have the text message from Peg telling me her mom had passed on. I won't delete it.) Cabinetmaker lost his mom and was telling me some wonderful, touching stories about her. I should count myself lucky.
Or just sell mine on eBay so I can get a nicer place.

First off, my mom has no sense of humor about herself. I laugh at myself, we all tease my dad mercilessly, and my brothers and I all pick on one another, in a fun-loving sort of way.

Secondly, I have been getting up at 5:00 every weekday morning, walking 3 miles, then going to school and packing and organizing my old classroom so it can be moved to the new school. Mondays and Wednesdays I work my evening job, Thursdays I volunteer with the equine therapy group, and on Tuesday and Thursday night I have been helping my dad stain the deck. Yesterday I took Pops to the eye doctor, was there with him for over 2 hours, and had to run to work. Got there late, but I was more than happy to do that for my dad. He's my hero!

So, tonight, after my walk, and after working in that spider-infested former classroom for 6 hours, Pops and I start staining the deck.

Sidenote--Mom IS now babysitting my niece, basically full-time, and she keeps the books for my dad's business, which she usually can do in about 2 hours in the evening. I am very well aware that I am not the only busy one here.

Also let it be known, though, my dad had quadruple bypass surgery in January, and has a mild case of emphysema. He is back to working 40 hours a week, which actually a lot less than he worked before the heart scare. He is out in the heat, though, mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters, raking the yard, and all of his other household jobs he feels like he has to do.

Pops and I are working on the deck, and making some really good progress, if I do say so myself. Mom comes out after she is done with the book work to have a cigarette, and asks how we are doing. Teasingly, my dad says, "Oh, it is terrible." He sometimes forgets she has no sense of humor.

She then asks if he is putting the stain on thick enough. This wouldn't be a huge deal, except last Thursday she asked the same thing and he told her you don't want to put the stain on too thick. It is different that paint. And it is the tone she uses, too. You know what I mean. Dad calmly explains again that you don't use too much stain. She then says, "Well, Miss Bethie's boards just look much better than yours." She is very critical. I am quite sure that she is a large reason I am so self-conscious about my weight.

Anyway, I say that the pro taught me how to stain, so if it looks good, it is because of dad.

She then says, "Well, I just want it done well, because I don't want to have to re-do it next year."

Dad and I just look at her. She wouldn't be caught dead staining a door stop, much less an entire deck.

Dad, again joking said, "No, I am sure you wouldn't have to do this again next year."

I laughed. If you know me, you know I laugh very loudly. (The police officer likes my laugh, by the way).

This was a bad move for both of us.

She then attacks me on my messiness. I say, "Well, I have been a little busy lately."

She then lets me know she is busy and still manages to do laundry, ironing and keep the house clean. Did I mention the baby takes 2 naps a day, never shorter than 2 hours each? Just sayin'.

Did I also mention that over the summer, if mom has to do something or go somewhere, I watch the baby? Again, just sayin'.

She finally figured out by the deafening silence that we weren't playing anymore, and so she said, taking another drag from her cigarette, she was about to go back inside.

I don't know what got into me, but I said, "And everything golden left with her." She ignored me. Probably a good thing.

Oh, there is also some deck furniture she wants me to paint as well as a wrought iron fence. Yup, she is really giving me a lot of incentive, here.

Anyway, a digital camera, while very cool, isn't as important as a kitchen set or a sofa at this point.

Thanks for the info, though kids! And maybe by next year I can splurge.

I would tell you about my weekend...

But if I were to get a little happy about a perspective suitor, and talk about him, he would strangely disappear, so instead...

Can anyone help me buy a digital camera?

I am wanting to buy one. I think I need at least 3 megapixels, would 4 megapix be worth the price difference? And I know I should buy re-chargeable batteries right away. What about a memory card? I know both of my brothers got memory cards with their cameras. Also, what else do I need?

In further news...

It was a really good thing that I join Weight Watchers meetings. I journaled the day I joined, and nothing since. I have good intentions. I just forget until I am all cozy in bed, or I have no idea what to put down, because I ate some exotic treat at a restaurant and don't even know where to begin--so I say, Screw it! And move on. Maybe I should go back on the Dexatrim. KIDDING!!! (But I keep meeting buff, athletic, outdoorsey guys online. I GOTTA do something about this!)

Refreshingly Honest

I went out with the cabinet maker Saturday. We had a nice time. All things considered, I think he enjoyed himself. He had to make and take a lot phone calls. And he thinks I look great, so bonus for him!

At the end of the date, he told me he had a great time, but will be busy for the next day of two, but he wants to call me and go out again. He then told me that he wants to be honest and have open communication, and he isn't looking for a serious, romantic relationship, but just something casual and fun--not necessarily sexual, but relaxed.

I want a serious relationship, but am just dating around until I find that, which cabinet maker was told. We are both fine with the current situation.

The First Lawyer I Dated...

The lawyer, on the other hand, was much more smarmy and stereotypical. On our first date we met up at the bagel shop where we originally met. He told me, as I got out of my car to get into his--withOUT him getting the door for me, to be careful not to put my car door into his car--it was a Porsche after all. Ummmm...yeah, about 15 years old, too! My brand new Chrysler probably was worth more at that point!

We went to this town about an hour outside of The Lou that is an eclectic mix of shops and restaurants. There are antique stores next to Mardi Gras themed eateries next to a Lewis and Clark museum. Quaint and I thought an interesting first date. He suggested a specific restaurant, where I had eaten before. I suggested that since there were, like 50 other places to eat, we find one that neither of us had been to before. He was insistent. The romantic in me thought, "He must have something wonderful planned, like roses on our table, or a bottle of champagne waiting, and here I am about to ruin it!" We went to the place he was so adamantly suggesting. There was nothing planned. It was an uninspired lunch--which is why I wanted to try something new, and there was no WOW moment.

Still, maybe he was just nervous and that was why he was so weird. We all deal with stress in our own way, and he was always so charming in the line at Einstein's. There must be something more there.

We had a second date. We were going to meet at the movies and then drinks afterwards. I tend to be an earlybird, and wasn't surprised when I was waiting for him. I was surprised when it was 5 minutes to showtime and I was still waiting, and REALLY surprised when it was 20 minutes into the show and he finally pulled up.

He had a meeting that ran over and didn't think to call me, but that was fine, because he really didn't want to see this movie, anyway.

He was holding his little day planner (the time before Blackberries and PDAs). I asked to see it. Thumbed through it until I found my name and number and proceeded to scratch it out until is was utterly unrecognizable, calmly handed it back, and said, "I just saved us both a lot of trouble."

BTW, Peggels, you totally give lawyers a FANTABULOUS name! Nuttin' but love for ya, babe! :)

The First Policeman I Dated...

So, let's take a trip to the way back machine and shine a light on this...

1996, Miss Bethie was a younger, more idealistic teacher--which is difficult to imagine, but true nonetheless. She was teaching in the 'hood and we had just had a fatal shooting in the building--gang related. As a result, we had 2 police officers in the building besides the regular security we had patrolling the building. One of the officers was about my age and cute. As the youngest teacher by far, and one of the few caucasians, he would flirt with Miss Bethie, and having recently ended things with her fiance, She was receptive. They went out in November on a date. It was okay. He was a little too macho and egotistical for her tastes, but she does have that second date rule, so she didn't rule him out. A week or 2 later they had another date, and it wasn't any better.

(End of third person-speak here--I am annoying myself!)

Walking to my room one day, I was escorted by one of the assistant principals, who had taken me under his wing. He was an older southern gentleman with a long soft drawl when he spoke. He had a few health issues, so often I would carry his briefcase for him and walk with him to his office. He inquired one morning as to how I was doing after my split and I told him I was back on the dating horse. He suggested that I date older men--NOT meaning himself, who was retiring in 2 years, but men in their 40s. He told me they are more respectful and know how to treat a lady, unlike guys my own age. I agreed and said that since Christmas was less than a month away, there was no way I would date anyone before then, because guys my age don't start relationships right before the holidays because then they feel obligated to buy a present. (Gasp!)

Later that afternoon, Officer Beerman (not really his name--but he had the same last name as a third rate beer I am not even sure is produced anymore--but I am from the land of Anheuser-Busch, so that could be my pride trash-talking) walked passed my room and said in a cheesy way, "Yeah, we'll have to get together again after the holidays." I smiled sweetly, but was DYING inside. He was transferred after winter break, so I dodged that bullet.

And ironically I had a date with a 40 year old tonight. Thanks Mr. Georgie!

Never Say Never

Way long ago, when I was still in my 20s, there were two professions I said I would never date again. Police officers and lawyers. It may sound like I have something against law enforcement. In fact, many of you may be Googling me right now to see if I have a record or something, but that is not it. I will post those 2 wildly romantic tales another time.

Needless to say, I am now in contact with a lawyer and a policeman via the online personals.

Some of you may remember the lawyer I went out with 2 weeks ago, who got the chicken pox. Yup--believe it or not--he is interested in me still, and wants to go out again once the pox that plague him have gone. He said he looks like a pimply teenager--that might be the funniest thing he has said, sadly.

Sunday I am having dinner with a cop. A buff cop. I love dating buff men, and I hate it, too. I am soooo not buff, svelte, hot, whatever! (Side note: Just joined Weight Watchers meetings today. I am already craving ice cream and am going out to dinner Saturday and Sunday--wish me luck. Although I DID lose 3 and a half sizes doing WW online before, so I can do this!)

Both of these gentlemen are not like the stereotypes of their professions and do not, at this point, seem anything like the dudes I dated before. Keeping my fingers crossed.

But seriously, if the lawyer doesn't lighten up soon, he won't be around much longer.

Just delete my number from your cellphone, already!

Potsie called again. He has an employee named Miss Bethie and meant to call her--at 12:02am.
Uh-huh...that is dedication to a pizza joint, lemme tell ya!
Oy, my nerves.
(And I was soooo hoping it was B3, since I told him I am until 1:00 most nights...ages ago!)

Perspective

I started a humorous post about my dating life, and was going to comeback and finish it up and give you all a chuckle.

Then I called the cabinetmaker, as I told him I would. His house had just burned to the ground. Nothing left. And he ran his business from the house. A neighbor called 911 when he saw the flames, but was told to call the fire department. The fire department was called and the neighbor was given a message saying if it is an emergency, call 911. When the fire department finally showed, there was a water main break. I was speechless. What do you say when you hear that?

He had spent years making the house exactly what he wanted, making his own cabinets, woodworking and so on. He had collected and refinished a ton of antiques. He was just telling me he was considering building a stable on his property. All down the drain.

This isn't the worst of it...

Here is what makes this move from sad to tragic. He lost his family in 1982. His mom, dad and youngest brother. Only he and his sister remain from his immediate family. All of his sentimental mementos of the family; pictures, letters, gone.

He asked me if I would go shopping with him Saturday because he has no clothes and wants a girl's perspective. What a sad first date!

Sexless in the city

I am not cool. I am not trendy. I was edgy in my 20s, but at 35, I am only me—and that is fine—most days.

But there are days when I watch Sex in the City in re-runs on TBS (because I am so uncool I didn’t see them the first time around) and wistfully wish to be any one of the ladies. Well, maybe not Samantha, because I do not want to be the floozy of my circle of friends. But I would like to be that trendy and have their shoes and handbags. I want gorgeous men to fawn on me and think I am fantastically hip and beautiful. I want adventure and hi-jinx.

But last night, while staining my parent’s deck with my dad, I blissfully thought about how I would not trade places with them. Can you see them staining a deck with their dad, listening to the crickets and toads that just don’t understand they are in now living in an area with no forests for miles? Do you think any of them would be called the “cool aunt” while riding the most brutal rollercoaster with their nephew? I doubt any of them could understand the joys of having a teenager make a life altering decision—for the positive—because of advice they had given. Certainly none of them would ever see the look on the face of a pediatric cancer amputee who just skied downhill solo, or the autistic child who interacts with his therapy horse.

My life my not be glamorous, trendy, or the stuff successful TV shows are made of, and I may never have a hottie as a boyfriend, but damn it—I think it is a pretty good life! [I would like to meet my own Mr. Big, though!]

Grand Central Cell Phone.

What a strange, strange night.
I was getting ready to call Saccharine, when my phone rings. I look, and it is an unfamiliar number. Thinking that Saccharine might be calling from his landline, I pick it up, and some guy asks for Miss Bethie. I tell him I am, in fact, Miss Bethie. Then I hear, "Oh man! I am so sorry! I have like 5 Miss Bethie's in this phone, and I broke my hand...You're the wrong Miss Bethie."
I asked who it was, and it is some clown I met online but it never went anywhere--his loss...although he was hot, in a Potsie from Happy Days sort of way. Sounds like an oxymoron, but trust me here.
Hang up, just making a few quick mental notes of what I want to say to Saccharine, and practicing my tone so as to not sound snotty, and the phone rings again. Boring guy. I am not sure why boring guy and I still sent voicemail messages to one another. Seriously, we've been doing that since the holidays, and we have yet to meet. He may not be boring at all, but he speaks very slowly in a monotone, then will occasionally raise the voice and it startles me, because I am listening so closely to the quiet, dull monotone. I let voicemail pick it up.
Called Saccharine, left a message we should talk--think I sounded nice about it, but not really sure.
Phone rings and it is the cabinet maker. We have been sending e-mails back and forth for about a month, maybe longer. We talked on the phone maybe once before tonight. We did end up talking for a really long time. I wasn't really enthused about him when we first were sending e-mails. He seemed so old! 40! Then I remembered that is only 5 years older than me. OOPS! (And to clarify, in the grand scheme of things, 40 isn't old at all, I just never thought I would date a 40 year old. Mainly because I thought I was going to be married right out of college and use my education degree to raise 4 wonderful kids. Life. Ain't it grand? Also, I forget I am not 27. I have felt 27 for about 4 years now. Before that I though I was 23 for several years.)
Anyway, the phone was a busy, busy place for me last night. It is ashame that my classroom isn't as hectic. I have a LOT of packing to do, and instead I am whining on my blog. HA! Priorities! :)