You take the low road, I'll take the high road.
I don't know if this is part of that whole "Window Shopper" that I am (see "Okay, Cupid," if you don't know of what I speak), but I am having a major issue I need to move on from.
Sure, there are my usual dating issues, but this is different, although it, too, has to do with a boy.
But the boy, and I do mean BOY, is my "friend," Mark.
Some of you may have read that he told me I have a fat boo-tay last Saturday. This has really, truly, genuinely, and deeply upset me. I keep fixating on it. I have body issues (No, Miss Bethie! We haven't noticed! HA!) so this just really cut. Especially when coming from a friend. Especially a male friend.
So, then I spiral out of control. We had one date and decided to be friends. Did he find my rear end so repulsive that he knew he would never want any physical contact with me? Is that the problem with Beamer, too? I am quite sure that many of the guys I only go out with once, maybe twice, are turned off by it. But to hear a person who is supposed to be a friend say it, TO MY FACE!
I tried to talk to him about it, and he only laughs, and either says, "Well..." OR says he can't believe I am upset over that. Men.
Even so, most men I know have enough good sense not to say that to someone. Especially a girl who is upset over her current dating situation!
And when he went on to tell me his new girlfriend, of less than a week, wears a thong, I was really livid. I have told him I don't want details. And I especially don't want to hear it when I am in my current state of mind. He knows I have some sexual issues. Yet...
So, part of me, who has to work with him tonight at the second job, a job I got him, wants to tell him that I was being kind when I said he doesn't sound like a girl. He does. A WHINY girl! "And, by the way," I want to tell him, "your teeth do need to be fixed." And while I am at it, I want to tell him that while he is 3 years younger, a fact he likes to tease me about, I STILL look ten years younger! In fact, I was carded the Friday before last. When my manicure/pedicurist asked where I have been, and I told her school, she and her husband both thought I was a college student and couldn't believe I am a teacher. Also, a co-worker, who is 7 years younger, told me yesterday that I look younger than her.
I want to tell him all of this, but I don't want to be vengeful. His self -confidence is usually pretty low, too, so I refuse to be the one who puts him into an abyss of self-doubt.
But the cruel part of me hopes his new girlfriend does.
Which is why I am sure there is a flame with my name on it in hell.
Sure, there are my usual dating issues, but this is different, although it, too, has to do with a boy.
But the boy, and I do mean BOY, is my "friend," Mark.
Some of you may have read that he told me I have a fat boo-tay last Saturday. This has really, truly, genuinely, and deeply upset me. I keep fixating on it. I have body issues (No, Miss Bethie! We haven't noticed! HA!) so this just really cut. Especially when coming from a friend. Especially a male friend.
So, then I spiral out of control. We had one date and decided to be friends. Did he find my rear end so repulsive that he knew he would never want any physical contact with me? Is that the problem with Beamer, too? I am quite sure that many of the guys I only go out with once, maybe twice, are turned off by it. But to hear a person who is supposed to be a friend say it, TO MY FACE!
I tried to talk to him about it, and he only laughs, and either says, "Well..." OR says he can't believe I am upset over that. Men.
Even so, most men I know have enough good sense not to say that to someone. Especially a girl who is upset over her current dating situation!
And when he went on to tell me his new girlfriend, of less than a week, wears a thong, I was really livid. I have told him I don't want details. And I especially don't want to hear it when I am in my current state of mind. He knows I have some sexual issues. Yet...
So, part of me, who has to work with him tonight at the second job, a job I got him, wants to tell him that I was being kind when I said he doesn't sound like a girl. He does. A WHINY girl! "And, by the way," I want to tell him, "your teeth do need to be fixed." And while I am at it, I want to tell him that while he is 3 years younger, a fact he likes to tease me about, I STILL look ten years younger! In fact, I was carded the Friday before last. When my manicure/pedicurist asked where I have been, and I told her school, she and her husband both thought I was a college student and couldn't believe I am a teacher. Also, a co-worker, who is 7 years younger, told me yesterday that I look younger than her.
I want to tell him all of this, but I don't want to be vengeful. His self -confidence is usually pretty low, too, so I refuse to be the one who puts him into an abyss of self-doubt.
But the cruel part of me hopes his new girlfriend does.
Which is why I am sure there is a flame with my name on it in hell.
posted by Beth at
8:53 AM
2 Comments:
You are a much better person than I am. I probably would have just screamed all that at him...in front of everyone.
I try to be honest with my friends. I will tell them if think something they are going to do is a bad idea or if something they try on doesn't look go but I would never say anything hurtful...or anything that I would think would be hurtful.
Maybe it is just because he is a guy and just doesn't get it.
By
Anonymous, at 11:52 PM
We aired things out and did our usualy watching of the Michigan game on Saturday.
I am still hurt because that isn't something you can take back once it is out there.
First, he is such an idiot that he didn't know how hopping mad I was. And that I almost didn't go on a date because I felt too fat and unworthy.
But when he said that he teases his current girlfriend about her fat ass, and boy does she get mad! But she and I both make jokes about it, so why can't he?
I had a heart-to-heart with him about thing.
I said that he makes small penis jokes about himself, which he does, but if the girlfriend made a comment after seeing it, that is was small, even as a joke...
I think it sank in.
By
Beth, at 7:58 AM
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