Family - the little things I won't let mean so much.
With family like this, who needs enemies?
Actually, it isn't entirely their fault. Well, not my mom's anyway.
When I start dating someone, not that I am currently dating anyone, and certainly no one who is almost 9 years older than me and has two kids--a 'tween and a teen, I tell them very little if anything at all about the gentleman in question.
So, my brother was aware that I was having coffee with someone Friday before I went to the movies with him and my (step) niece and nephew.
I rarely point out that Jess and Zach are step-kids, because, quite frankly, I embrace them as part of the family, even though I missed out on the most-precious baby years. But the point they are steps are important to this story.
My brother asked how the meeting went, and while I was as elusive as ever, I did mention that this guy has two kids. My brother made a face, and said, "Oh! That's just great!" in his exaggerated, sarcastic way. I cheerfully added that this guy's ex-wife lives just a few blocks away. He made another snide remark, and I said that they were still amicable, and I think that is great. Bro doesn't think it is a good idea that I date a guy with 2 kids. Never mind that he married a women with 2 kids the same age at the time of their nuptials, and that they had different fathers. I kept my mouth shut.
I was at a funeral visitation tonight (no one I am close to, and she had Alzheimer's, so really, it was expected and a blessing)and my mom started talking to a family member there. They started talking about this woman's boss. Then about his wife. Then about how the wife is 10 years younger. My mom's words, "Well, no wonder the old coot is happy!"
So, what is the cut off, in her world, of what it too old and what is too young. Is 10 the cut off? Or is 9 years too old, too? Most likely, 9 years is too old for her daughter, if not the rest of the world.
Part of me thinks I should talk to them more. But really I keep saying over and over to myself, "And they wonder why I don't tell them more!"
Actually, it isn't entirely their fault. Well, not my mom's anyway.
When I start dating someone, not that I am currently dating anyone, and certainly no one who is almost 9 years older than me and has two kids--a 'tween and a teen, I tell them very little if anything at all about the gentleman in question.
So, my brother was aware that I was having coffee with someone Friday before I went to the movies with him and my (step) niece and nephew.
I rarely point out that Jess and Zach are step-kids, because, quite frankly, I embrace them as part of the family, even though I missed out on the most-precious baby years. But the point they are steps are important to this story.
My brother asked how the meeting went, and while I was as elusive as ever, I did mention that this guy has two kids. My brother made a face, and said, "Oh! That's just great!" in his exaggerated, sarcastic way. I cheerfully added that this guy's ex-wife lives just a few blocks away. He made another snide remark, and I said that they were still amicable, and I think that is great. Bro doesn't think it is a good idea that I date a guy with 2 kids. Never mind that he married a women with 2 kids the same age at the time of their nuptials, and that they had different fathers. I kept my mouth shut.
I was at a funeral visitation tonight (no one I am close to, and she had Alzheimer's, so really, it was expected and a blessing)and my mom started talking to a family member there. They started talking about this woman's boss. Then about his wife. Then about how the wife is 10 years younger. My mom's words, "Well, no wonder the old coot is happy!"
So, what is the cut off, in her world, of what it too old and what is too young. Is 10 the cut off? Or is 9 years too old, too? Most likely, 9 years is too old for her daughter, if not the rest of the world.
Part of me thinks I should talk to them more. But really I keep saying over and over to myself, "And they wonder why I don't tell them more!"
posted by Beth at
9:31 PM
2 Comments:
It seems you should only say what you have to for now. But, when things get serious with someone, you will have to tell them what they NEED to know..no more..no less.
It really is no one's business what you do with your life. Yea, I know, she is your mom but even then, it is still your life. Your choices to make, your choices to live with.
I don't think age matters.
Kids? Well, it depends how demanding of his time and attention the kids are. Sometimes a father that has his children only part of the time, try to make up for the time he isn't there.
I have a good friend who is married to a man that is 16 years older. Not a problem. They are expecting their first baby together. Not a problem. He has two children with the ex wife. Big problem! They try to cause fights between my friend and her hubby everytime they are together.
I guess you have to wait and see where this (non) thing is going.
Good luck with the family!
By
Anonymous, at 6:41 AM
I'm not too worried about them, actually.
Mom and I had a good laugh at my hypocritical (over-protective) brother, and it is my business to date an older man. He is far from a sugar-daddy, so it is because I like him I see him, not because I am his bimbo.
By
Beth, at 8:00 AM
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