A few rules for online dating

I am not someone who is particularly high maintenance, nor do I have exceptionally high standards of who I will date. I have dated geeky, awkward guys, as well as stud-muffins. I have dated guys who are perpetually broke, and the son of a multi-millionaire. There are boys I thought were average-at-best and then thought they were the cutest things going once I got to know them, and there are hotties who quickly became notties when they showed their true colors.

Still, there are some ground rules for on-line dating that I just want to get off of my chest right here and now...and most of this came after a dud of a date Friday, just FYI--so don't ask about it!

If your fingernails are as long as mine, which I keep well manicured and painted, you really need to invest in clippers.

By calling something a "casual date", I am going to assume that you are going to at least shower before we meet and look presentable. When I meet someone new as a potential date-interest, I shower and shave my legs as part of my preparation, and you are NOT going to see or touch my legs...don't look too scruffy. It worked for George Michael, but he was gorgeous and gay, for goodness sakes. Most men cannot pull it off and not look like they just didn't care how they appeared or what impression they are making. Tuck in your shirt and don't wear a baseball cap. And if you do choose to wear a ball cap, bare in mind how bad your thinning hair is going to look when you take it off in the bistro.

Do not put in your ad that you have an "athletic build" when you have a stomach the size of a classroom globe. Again--I don't mind a little chubby--have dated that before with no problem--but you are just lying when you say that. I don't consider bowling and darts sports, and the "pros" in those so-called sports are hardly what I call athletically built--so if that is your role-model for physique, you may want to rethink that.

For myself, no longer will I accept dates with someone who posts only one picture and in that picture they are wearing sunglasses and a ball cap, because really, I could have had a date with Richard Ramirez and not known it. (He was the very creepy, satanic serial killer known as "The Night Stalker" to those who don't have a very strange fascination with real-life crime cases).

Also, when my first impression is, "This guy is a cynic and I am not interested" I should follow that and run. I do not owe these guys anything, and do not have to go out with all of them to prove that I am really trying to find a good guy.

I am sure there are many things I can add to this, and I am sure I will someday soon, but for now, I am off to watch a romantic comedy and forget how badly my dating life sucks.