Pontificating on the Professor
While I was expecting this relationship to end eventually, this still stings. I thought I was ready for this to happen, but I was just fooling myself.
And really, there were so many issues between us, it is truly better that it ended now rather than later. There was the kid issue, and the fact that he wouldn't be ready to be in a relationship for quite sometime. And that he was moody and I deserve better.
But I have to see him one more time because he has my CDs. And that song, "There's No Easy Way to Break Somebody's Heart" by James Ingram keeps resounding in my head. I want to be that woman who doesn't break down and has class while the relationship is ending.
Then there is the karma thing. Why do I keep getting shit on? Seriously. I am a nice person. I am well educated, funny and adventurous. How horrible was I in a past life? Why doesn't any decent guy find me attractive?
Anyone who truly knows me knows I am not overly religious, but I am spiritual, and I do believe things happen for a reason. Maybe this happened so when a guy who does meet my criteria, i.e. mentally and emotionally stable, available and wants to have kids, comes along, I will recognize it and appreciate it. Maybe the Professor was sent to me just to get me back to having sex so I don't have to rehash my rape with every guy who has the potential to be my lover. "Ummmm...okay, it is going to feel like I'm a virgin, and I may even bleed, ummmm...but seriously, I'm not..." It is embarrassing and brings up a topic I rather not bring up so much.
I am thankful for several things...each one fairly shallow...
I am thankful that I scored a full 10 points higher on my ACT scores than he did.
I am thankful for my red hair that he both loved and envied--he always tried to convince me he had red highlights, but I only notice gray creeping into his non-descript brown.
I have much better teeth than him, and while he had pretty blue eyes, I have "captivating" green eyes. His words, along with "bewitching", "beautiful" and "gorgeous." Using words like that, he won't be forgetting these green eyes any time too soon.
I am thankful that his bi-polar drama-queen daughter will not be a step-child of mine. Love kids, but she would have caused trouble, I can tell. I have dealt with that kind of child often.
I am thankful that I am high class and am giving him no reason to bad-mouth me. I am showing that not only am I ten point smarter, I am classier, too.
And really, there were so many issues between us, it is truly better that it ended now rather than later. There was the kid issue, and the fact that he wouldn't be ready to be in a relationship for quite sometime. And that he was moody and I deserve better.
But I have to see him one more time because he has my CDs. And that song, "There's No Easy Way to Break Somebody's Heart" by James Ingram keeps resounding in my head. I want to be that woman who doesn't break down and has class while the relationship is ending.
Then there is the karma thing. Why do I keep getting shit on? Seriously. I am a nice person. I am well educated, funny and adventurous. How horrible was I in a past life? Why doesn't any decent guy find me attractive?
Anyone who truly knows me knows I am not overly religious, but I am spiritual, and I do believe things happen for a reason. Maybe this happened so when a guy who does meet my criteria, i.e. mentally and emotionally stable, available and wants to have kids, comes along, I will recognize it and appreciate it. Maybe the Professor was sent to me just to get me back to having sex so I don't have to rehash my rape with every guy who has the potential to be my lover. "Ummmm...okay, it is going to feel like I'm a virgin, and I may even bleed, ummmm...but seriously, I'm not..." It is embarrassing and brings up a topic I rather not bring up so much.
I am thankful for several things...each one fairly shallow...
I am thankful that I scored a full 10 points higher on my ACT scores than he did.
I am thankful for my red hair that he both loved and envied--he always tried to convince me he had red highlights, but I only notice gray creeping into his non-descript brown.
I have much better teeth than him, and while he had pretty blue eyes, I have "captivating" green eyes. His words, along with "bewitching", "beautiful" and "gorgeous." Using words like that, he won't be forgetting these green eyes any time too soon.
I am thankful that his bi-polar drama-queen daughter will not be a step-child of mine. Love kids, but she would have caused trouble, I can tell. I have dealt with that kind of child often.
I am thankful that I am high class and am giving him no reason to bad-mouth me. I am showing that not only am I ten point smarter, I am classier, too.
posted by Beth at
7:37 PM
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