The Realities of Miss Bethie

Thursday, August 10, 2006

THE TALK

Last Friday I spent the day with Bubbles. Her baby-sitter was out of town. She is 12, but Sir Laughs-a-Lot gets nervous with her at home alone, and since he just moved, they don't know any neighbors well enough to go there in an emergency, and the only neighbor who doesn't work during the day is Bosnian and doesn't speak English. It really doesn't relieve a father's worst fears about what would happen if the house caught on fire, or a rabid dog came in the yard, or an insane man with a hook for a hand broke out of the asylum for the criminally insane.

I am not making light of LAL's fears. I would be the same if it was my little girl, too. I think it is cute and endearing, and while she thinks she is old for a babysitter, she just rolls her eyes and takes it good-naturedly.

Anyway, we went out to lunch, and stopped by the craft store to get some metallic paints, then we painted up some plain wooden frames and used metallic fish stickers for her beach-themed room. (We haven't started it yet. She STILL hasn't unpacked everything, and her daddy won't start painting, papering and decorating until she is unpacked and cleaned up. I totally back him on this point.)
Bubbles is 12, and I have picked up that in the beginning of every month, she is moody an withdrawn, which is not her normal behavior. Having taught middle school the last 6 years, I know what that means.

Whenever Laughs-a-Lot's sister or myself tell him he needs to have some maxipad or something at the house because she is bound to start any day now, he shudders and mutters that he can't do it. He cannot have this talk or buy her feminine hygiene products. Supposedly her mama has had the sex talk with her and she knows what a period is, so really, the battle is half done. Her mama is preggers, so, as I always tell LAL, that takes a lot of pressure off of him, because Bubbles will naturally ask questions ask the pregnancy progresses.

Knowing my own period was working on me, I said, "Hey, Bubbles, I have an idea. I need to go to Walgreen's and get some things for my period. I know you haven't started that yet, but you are about the age I was when I started mine, so while I am getting my stuff, why don't we pick up some for you, too? Your dad is going to flip when he little girl walks up to him and says, "I started my period and need some maxipads, and you'll be embarrassed to tell him, anyway."
She looked slightly embarrassed, but nodded emphatically, with a sort of, "you got that right, sister!" look behind it.

we made our trip to Walgreen's and there I picked up a pack of regular maxipads and overnight pads. I then suggested that we get her Midol while we were there.
"What's that for?"
"Well, you'll have a day or two with some cramping. Mine range from
not-too-bad to very uncomfortable. It seems different for me every month. I get
headaches, too. This will help you out on those yucky-feeling days."
"Why don't boys have to go through this every month?" said with a heavy sigh.
"Well, honey, they get jock itch and can have a lot of hygiene issues."
"Girls can have hygiene issues, too."
"Yeah, but it is different for boys. Plus, they have their own embarrassing
things to worry about, like when they are nervous or something." (Thank God
she didn't ask for too much more details about that.)
"Besides, Bubbles, they have no manners, no sense of style and they are goofy.
Which would you rather have, a monthly inconvenience, or a lifetime of that?"
For the first time she smiled and even chuckled a bit. I then made her feel better by buying her candy. No wonder I fight my weight with that sort of coping mechanism!

Laughs-a-Lot was very relieved when I told him this issue has been dealt with -- for the time being.

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